Best friend in love with me

[cymruambyth1]

� am a female and had a male best mates, we had been close mates for 6 years or so. But he had been acting weird recently, there has always been something between us but we tried to make something of it but it was too weird.

He is now single and he decided to tell me he was in love with me. I have a boyfriend who I have been seeing for over a year now and who I love very much, but my best mate kept texting me saying he wish we could kiss like we did a few years back, and when we would go out and he got a bit drunk he would touch me up with my partner millimetres away!

I felt the whole situation was getting complicated and while I was drunk (honestly a rare occassion) I blabbed everything to my boyfriend, I felt better after it, but I decided that it wasnt fair on my partner or my best mate to stay close friends, so I told him I think its best we stop being so close.

Do you think this was the right decision. Me and my best mate havent spoken for two months, and he randomly texted me the other night saying he misses me. He doesnt understand why I have cut ties...Help?

[beso]

Firstly your priorities are excellent. Honesty and openness with your partner is fundamental in any good relationship.

Block your unwanted admirer's phone. He has overstepped the mark.

You have told your friend that you are not interested in an intimate relationship. If he accepted that and got on with life and let you get on with yours there wouldn't have been a problem.

But a man who isn't accepting "No" is actually committing sexual harrassment. You have every right to be indignant about his behaviour and want to keep well clear.

You should not have hesitated to talk your partner if you are confident you havn't done anything to encourage this unwanted attention.

[Mully79]

I think you've done the right thing. Friendships can't work if one person wants a little 'extra' and the other doesn't reciprocate. It's hard to recover and carry on as normal in those circumstances.

I had a male friend who I met when he dated an old schoolfriend. We got on really well, but it was always obvious, even when dating my friend, that he had a thing for me. He broke up with her and we continued to hang out, but his attention became such that I got fed up and cut ties with him. He also started to put me down, I assume to make himself feel better about me not wanting him.

A year later I ran into him, agreed to meet up and the same thing happened - he couldn't let it go. I was then living with my fiance. I decided to cut ties once and for all after he sent a suggestive text to me. It was insulting to me and utterly disrespectful to my fiance (now husband).

I had another friend who turned really nasty after he asked me out and I politely and sensitively told him I wanted to be no more than friends.

I guess the answer is don't have close male friends, it just leads to aggro!

[Octavius]

Ignore the text and delete his number. If your partner saw the text, what might he think? Chances are that this 'friend' might try anything to break you two up.

I think its a bit strange that your best friend is a man - unless it is your partner of course. But, you did the right and appropriate thing, so don't go back on that. Let this friend go do his own thing and stop worrying about him. Enjoy your relationship without his selfish intrusions.

[cymruambyth1]

I told my parnter about the text I received and he just said that is a bit random and asked if I had texted him.

I have a lot of male friends, purely because I grew up with three brothers and my mum wasnt around much, so I feel more comfortable around male company. This situation has happened to me a few times now so I am going make sure I dont get too close to two males. (By the way my other male friend has now recently told me he would want more if I wasnt with someone!!) And no I dont lead these friends on in the slightest, I am really not like that, I barely see most of them because they live away.

[MiniN]

cymru,

if this 'friend' was touching you up when you had told him you weren't interested, then you've done the right thing cutting ties.

leave these complications behind and live your life happy with you boyfriend!

[Octavius]

It sounds like a lot of your male friends are looking for a 'friend with benefits', a comfort shag if you like in the middle of a dry patch. Either you have given them certain signs, or they are hoping you might just offer it up.