Step Families

[kat2206]

I need some advice please? I live with my partner of 3 years, we live with my 2 teenage sons and his 2 teenage daughters come to ours every other weekend. The oldest of his daughters absolutely hates me and tries, every time she is here, to split us up. She causes massive rows between me and my partner, she constantly "mouthes off" at me and when I retaliate then my partner will take her side and they will commence a full verbal war on me. I do love him but I'm not sure how much longer I can her attitude and poison.

My partner actually admitted last weekend that she won the last 2 wars and split him up with his last 2 girlfriends, however, he didnt live with either of them. We never argue until she comes here then we do nothing but argue.

Before I met him, I was a confident, independant and bubbly person and unfortunately I have to admit that I am now a "yes" person whom I don't like anymore.

He expects me to "tell off" my sons when he is annoyed with them but when I expect and ask him to do the same he absolutely refuses, he has gone so far to tell me that sometimes he will back her up when she is at her most vile to me because he agrees with her!

What do I do?

[marion lane]

KAT, for your own sake and the sake of your sons get out of this relationship. you all deserve better than this. I was married to a man for 13 years who treated me this way and dis-respected me, it had a devastating effect on my three children as far as relationships go and they went through a phase of treating me the same way. It has taken me 9 years to undo all the damage, it caused me terrible bouts of depression which also effected my children. Please Kat, think about the long term for you and your sons, you all deserve so much better.
GOOD LUCK XXXXXXXX

[888sally888]

Hi Kat

I have just read the above and feel so sad that you are being treated like this. Yo deserve so much better and I worry about the effect all this is having on your poor sons.

Yo need to respect yourself and make a new life away from this very selfish and controling man. I really am concerned for you x

[kat2206]

Hi Guys

Thank you all for your comments.... I love him still though and when we alone (without his daughter being present) we get on so well, always laughing and having fun. Ok, his controlling is a little out of order but I have told him that this Saturday I am going for a night out with my sister, he kinda doesnt like it at all and told me then the following weekend he will go out too.....

I'm only going out this weekend though because he has his daughter here and my sons are with their father til next week so I will be a "sitting duck" from her verbal assaults so I'm taking myself out of the firing line and going out my sister so I can breathe a little.

He goes out once a week, ok to play pool at the local but I would love to be able to do that..

As to my sons, all comments duly noted, I do have a very strong relationship with both my sons and thy have asked me before to leave him as they get sick to death of the hassle basically, I just keep hoping that it will get better and hopefully she won't come anymore, wishful thinking huh! xx.