feeling lonely

[blondie83]

I'm starting to feel really lonely lately. I'm 25. I have a (small) group of friends, but no actual best friend or boyfriend. It's friday night and im sat at home alone with nothing to do. I have to go to a breast clinic soon (it's nothing serious (I hope!!!) so I wont bore you with the details now! - im sure everything will be fine) but I just feel like Iv got no one to talk to about it, so iv kept it to myself. I wonder if my lifes always gonna be like this. Even my parents have a better social life than me! All I really want is a best friend and a man who cares about me. I can't imagine a guy ever wanting to be with me, especially when I don't even like myself. How can I stop feeling like this?...

[NWA]

can you post some pics of yourself? it could be your appearence

[dee2912]

go out with your friends im sure your not the ulgyest peron on the planet ul meet friends fall in love married kids before you know it

[yummymum]

n with attitude i doubt other people are that shallow!

[petal54]

no need to rush the kids thing,have some fun

[terambulan]

You must get out and find friends. You have to help yourself. Where are your work colleagues tonite? Y aren't you with them? Or your school-friends....Y not meet up? Join clubs around you?

[dee2912]

i was jokin about the kids ovbiously just have fun

[blondie83]

It's not that i'm ugly, I just don't have much confidence that's all. I'm always the one sat on my own at a party cos everyone else is chatting away and i feel like i would never be missed if i wasn't there. I know I need to join in more but i can be quite shy at times.
Terambulan, my work collegues are all older than me and are married.

[terambulan]

lots of people feel feel like squares in round holes.

Will you try my suggestion.....do you play any sport?

[Willow Tree]

I understand exactly what you're feeling. I have a small group of friends and a couple of best friends, which are great, but they're all either married now, or moved in with partners or having babies. And me? Well, im just plain old me who hasnt had a boyfriend since god knows when and i get really lonely too. I dont like myself neither, so I think if i dont love myself, then how can i love someone else? And Im at home tonight too and thats pretty much the case every night. x

[terambulan]

You gals need taking in hand.....these are valuable years and not to be wasted. I suggest:

Take up golf. Buy some 2nd hand clubs and get down to your local pay & play course. Hit the diving range (plenty of bods there to give advice). In a week someone will want a game and you're off. All P & P courses have club-houses with w/e events. Just turn up with the people from the driving range....instant friends, new social life & healthy sport.

[Willow Tree]

I dont like golf, but thanks.

[Willow Tree]

Do you like golf blondie83?

[terambulan]

Ur not there to like golf....ur there to find friends.

[Willow Tree]

I can be shy too like blondie83.

[Lore]

For a long time I had very little confidence - I still feel like that at times but I've managed to pull my finger out and do it anyway.
I went back to college at the age of 26, discovered that I wasn't as shy as I thought it was just that I hadn't been around people I had much in common with.

I literally found myself. I started to do the things I had lost somewhere along the way. eg going to museums, reading poetry, painting, playing the piano. I'd forgotten all about those things during an unhappy marriage. (which I left)

I'm 35 now and things are a lot different. As I said, I still have the odd day where I feel like I should walk with my head down, but don't we all? (I guess inside, I'm still an awkward teenager who needs a cuddle and reassurance)

Find the things that make you feel happy and surround yourself with people who share the same interests. You'll make some good friends and once you start going out with them, I'm sure you'll also find Mr Right. (just make sure his middle name isn't ... 'Always!!!' :p )

[terambulan]

What have u got to be shy about? If you can walk/talk/hear/see have 2 legs/arms/ears etc so have the others. No-one is knocking on ur door to invite you out so do it for yourself. The others there are doing the same as you, they are there for friendships and circulating.

[happyone2]

It is so hard to be positive when you are feeling bad about yourself, but its the only way to pull yourself out of this lonely place you find yourself in.

When my husband and i divorced it was really hard to go out and meet people but i joined a jive club - waterlooville community centre, thrusday nite - i learnt to dance, got fitter, made some new friends. There are always jive events to go to, every nite of the week including fridays and saturdays.............. once you can jive you never again have to feel there is nowhere to social and yes you might meet someone, but if you dont , well at least you get to dance and chat to lots of men and women....................

I also joined a walking and social group ( google - inter varsity IVC portsmouth) and we go walking every other weekend.............more fittness.........and more friends............... and they go to the pictures,theatre, plays and out for meals................... they made me feel very welcome.

i joined a book club and started reading more books, so i had more to talk about and am now thinking of starting my own !!!

i chat to people on facebook

i invite people round for meals and have game nights and DVD nites ............. i find people will turn up if you ask them !!!

There are many things you could do - volunteer work, or work in a pub one night a week or do a college course or confidence building course ...................... anything that gets you talking to other people......... making friends, gaining confidence in yourself.

good luck

[homedeeth]

hello blondie. i feel sorry for you. i want to come over and give you a big hug! :)