Smacking children

[RavenD]

I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old both whom I smack.
( lightly on the back of the legs and when they are having hissy fits ). They are very pleasant, intelligent and loving children when I look after them.
But when my wife looks after them she does not smack them and does not really discipline them and they suddenly become rowdy, noisy and very naughty.
I very rarely smack my children now as I just have to change the tone of my voice and they now they are in trouble and they stop being naughty.
I just wanted peoples thoughts on this controversial issue.

[RavenD]

Curiosity, Thank you for a wonderful,sensible and well thought out post. That's the exact thing I was trying to say :)

badlad.biz, I don't think fear is a bad thing in terms of control. That's why we have laws, we fear the law,as if we break it we could end up in prison. That's a form of fear control the government use to keep it's subjects under control.

What I'm trying to say is a healthy fear of your parents is a good thing. Reverence is the word I wish to use. To revere your mother and father is a good wholesome thing I think.

[Martiens]

I count to three, no by three he already had a good hiding on his backside! Golden rule is to never ever give a hiding/smack a child when you are angry.
Use your bare hand so that you can feel if you are not hitting to hard. If you cup your hand, it's more the noise than any pain that will bring the message home.
Yes, it is an example to him or her, but not one where they should assume it's ok to walk up o someone and slap them through the face.
For the tantrum queens - throw one yourself. My son tried it once in Supermarket in South Africa. I performed much better than him - attracted a lot of attention and smiles. Whenever he tried the tantrum position after that, I just make as if I'm going to to it with him and we land up
laughing!
This too is an example to him.
Will you hit someone at the office or in the street. I assume these reasoning concerns another adult. Am I to dicipline another person? Dont think so....
Tell you one thing though, I used to be a Detective Sargeant in the SA Police Force and when a man would beat another or a woman I did not hesitate to 'put him to sleep'.
No Raven, go ahead, just set the example that you are not smacking becuase you are angry, but because you dont approve of their wrong behavior!