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Spent over two years on my own even before I met my husband - had to deal with PND and depression on my own and get myself out of that hole for the sake of my kids. It took me a while to even consider getting married again because I had managed to regain my self respect and confidence that had been knocked when I found myself alone with two kids (one of them not even one!) I didn't enter lightly into the relationship and I did spend my time on me, getting back to work and, more importantly, my kids. The comment about the bangs on the head was probably me being a bit flippant - I'm under no illusions as to what my husband is - or can be - ten per cent of our marriage. I came on here for advice - which I have accepted - because I wasn't ready to walk out on a situation that might be salvagable.