partner's dayghter

[metreid]

How can I cope with my partner's 18 year old daughter who obviously can't stand me and makes it known. Her father is scared of upsetting her. HELP!!

[cazzz1975]

be patient, she may be wary of you, she might need time to get used to a new person in her dads life

[brenda]

He should be supporting you in this issue, you have a word with her adult to adult , because that is what she is.
Explain the situation between you and her DAD, and tell her that if she doesn't like it --tough.

[Velvetee]

She's 18 and an adult. If she is going to disrespect you, especially in your home, then she should ot be welcome there.

[sqad617]

At 18yrs old, it is unlikely that she is going to change.

Brenda is spot on.

[bantingm]

dont try and be her friend too much, that always makes kids in thhis situation think they have one over the other if they know your desperate "to be their Friend", if she thinks your not bothered she is more likely to come around to the idea.

[WiseOldSage]

My now husband's daughter was a nightmare. She hadn't even met me and was emailing me abuse, texting me abuse and calling my home. She would do her damndest to spoil our relationship and made it very plain that she would try everything to split us up. For while my husband tried to make excuses but the day we were invited to a BBQ and she followed us and hurled abuse over the fence sealed her fate I'm afraid.

I know this may be difficult and, believe me, I had one hell of a time. But I decided to not rise to the occasion or let it come between me and my husband. He finally saw her for what she was and told her she was a spoilt brat and he would welcome her back when she grew up.

Three years on, and after an apology for her behaviour, when she realised he wasn't joking I'm the best thing since sliced bread LOL

If he's worth it try to keep a lid on the anger that will almost certainly arise - but I agree with other comments - don't try and be her friend. See if Dad can find out what her real issue is with you. My step daughter didn't have an issue with me per se - she didn't know me - she just wanted Mum and Dad together.

[sophie_1003]

Whilst keeping in mind other answers, please try to remember that if this is your partners first relationship after splitting from her mother, the daughter probably sees it as the final nail in the lid of the coffin on her mum and dad getting back together. The fact that she is 18 doesn't mean that she can be rational about her feelings, think that would be a lot to ask of anyone at any age.