Before you leave her try and walk her (or get her to empty herself) about half an hour before you go.
Don't make a big fuss when you leave, try to keep the signals you are going out to a minimum.
When you return, again don't make a big fuss - just walk through the door and carry on as if nothing has happened. If she has made a mess in the house ignore it, preferably take her out of the room and return on your own and clear it away. That way she does not see you are angry/upset.
Of course you have spoilt her a bit - that is part and parcel of why we have pets!!! Most of the fun is spoiling them rotten. The trick is not to make them so dependent upon us that their world collapses when we are not there.
The forum that woofgang mentioned is good, although they are predominately a behaviour/training forum they are not into strict discipline and obedience. They are more about understanding why a dog behaves the way it does and helping the dog and owner to enjoy life together as part of a family. The people on there have a wide range of breeds (mostly as pets) and are very friendly. If you post exactly what you have put on here then I am sure you will get some more in depth advice - you can post longer replies on there!!!
This is a direct link to the forum:
http://www.ttlntl.co.uk/forum/index.php