sex life

[rangersjoe]

any suggestions what do you do when you like to have sex all the time and your partner doesnt ????-

[mattie]

If you are serious about your relationship then you will have to sit and discuss the problem like adults and try to arrive at a compromise. What would be worse would to do nothing and pretend the problem doesn't exist.

I speak from experience here.

[orange-gnome]

I have the same problem, we love eachother dearly but I want it a lot and he doesn't.
We have sat and talked about it, arrived at a compromise however that doesn't stop me from feeling frustrated and slightly unfulfilled!
Will be watching this space for helpful answers. You're not alone joe!

[Mistopheles]

I asked my partner as he tends to want it a lot more than me. His answer? 'That's what porn's for!'

Not sure that's terribly helpful though...

[David H]

There are different aspects here and what you'd ultimately do would depend which is the most important. Behind it all, a few people just don't care about sex, I know a couple and I doubt they'd care who they were in bed with. They'd really be better of with someone the same for obvious reasons.

If theyy've gone off you (or were never really on) then it's really time to start looking elsewhere as people rarely reverse that sort of feeling, from what I've seen.

Finally, to echo the previous advice, if it's something less important than the whole relationship which is otherwise fine then if any arrangement can be worked out to make both happy then that's the best way. I would add anyone who's gone off sex is usually carrying pretty heavy issues and counselling would really be the best place to find what they were. People don't usually go off sex for nothing and it's rarely about the partner but something from earlier. I can say this as it's part of my job to work with these issues.

[Emily Ball]

Whoa there David H! rangersjoe hasn't said that his partner has gone off sex, just that he likes it all the time and she doesn't (like it all the time  ). For all we know, rangersjoe may have an outrageously high sex drive and his partner an average one. It depends how frequently you define 'all the time' rangersjoe??

[shiy]

thanks emily ball SHE wants it all the time i feel shattered and the wee man cant keep up with the demand HELP

[callisto]

in my experience there is always one partner in a relationship who has a bigger libido than the other....it is up to the couple together on ways of improving thepartner with lower libido , wining and dining, doing things together , candlelit bathtimes.. walking the dog, booking a break, dressing up ..... the list is endless but its all about putting in what you hope to get out and hopefully then a happy and fun sex life will resume X X

[callisto]

imthe one with the lower libido by the way but have known hubby for 20 years x

[Personica]

This may sound a bit crude, but serious. Get her a few toys (battery operated) n give her some space to use em.

If she gets desperate, I think she'd stray and that would be a shame. Time is a great leveler, bridging the time gap is a little trickier.

On a humorous note, take a dose of viagra one night and give her 'what for'! that'll teach her!

[Emily Ball]

Judging from your other posts shiy and rangersjoe you can't decide what gender you are and what your problems are! Or are you just having us on?

[jno]

just wondering the same thing, Emily. I don't suppose shiy and rangersjoe are by any chance related?

[twiglet4frog]

how about we all swap about a bit so we all match up right ?? haha

seriously tho i know what it is like as i am married to a wonderful wife that has been abused as a child and so finds sex very very difficult at the best of times, whereas i have a sex problem where i cant stop thinking and craving it all day everyday!

We dont know what to do either as her suggestion was to get me a lover she chose and comfortable with! So do i go along with it or suffer forever?!??!?

[kazzee69]

Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years (nearly!) and I have such a high sex drive. I want it almost everyday and my boyfriend likes it about 1-2 a week. He has always been like this. I invested in a 'special toy'! He doesn't mind at all and its good fun to use together too! xx

[callisto]

twiglet .....thats weird its like Me ...youre not my husband are you?????