Crosswords2 mins ago
Wood you believe it
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."
The clerk said, "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're going to build a house."
The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."
The clerk said, "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're going to build a house."
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I will never forget the Two Ronnies.
I loved their "news items". One I particularly remember was about a criminal gang who did cut and shut jobs on stolen cars. They told the usual puns about various combinations of half cars with no doubt slightly rude names.
But the punch line was the police chief inspector reported as saying how clever the gang was from the driver's seat of his "E-type combine harvester". Still cracks me up.
What those guys did with nothing more than siting straight faced at a desk was remarkable.
Then the was the one about a man who stole items from delegates at an international conference. "He stole a pencil from a woman from Pensylvania, a bell from Belgian, a port from a Portugese man. ... ... ... And a woman from Nicaragua ran from the room screaming."
I loved their "news items". One I particularly remember was about a criminal gang who did cut and shut jobs on stolen cars. They told the usual puns about various combinations of half cars with no doubt slightly rude names.
But the punch line was the police chief inspector reported as saying how clever the gang was from the driver's seat of his "E-type combine harvester". Still cracks me up.
What those guys did with nothing more than siting straight faced at a desk was remarkable.
Then the was the one about a man who stole items from delegates at an international conference. "He stole a pencil from a woman from Pensylvania, a bell from Belgian, a port from a Portugese man. ... ... ... And a woman from Nicaragua ran from the room screaming."
Thank you for those Two Ronnie memories beso. I loved them and here is another reminder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5t2A1cfu9E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5t2A1cfu9E
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