ChatterBank2 mins ago
friends or not?
9 Answers
is it possible to stay friends with an ex?
we are best friends, we are both having a tough time with different things in our life and are leaning on eachother but is it really possible to be friends just 5 weeks after breaking up? everything still feels the same with as before we broke up its, happy and lughy and feels like everything is perfect with us but its its not perfect we aint together anymore!
so is it possible to be friends or are we playing with fire?
we are best friends, we are both having a tough time with different things in our life and are leaning on eachother but is it really possible to be friends just 5 weeks after breaking up? everything still feels the same with as before we broke up its, happy and lughy and feels like everything is perfect with us but its its not perfect we aint together anymore!
so is it possible to be friends or are we playing with fire?
Answers
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Are you still sleeping together? You know... the 'for old times sake' thing... or having a little kiss? If so, then no, it's not possible until you knock that on the head.
Five weeks is a relatively short space of time and I would have thought some sort of cooling off period would be needed. Personally, unless there are kids involved, I would not like to be in touch with an ex, I've not enough friends not to want an ex lover as one, they're two different things.
That said, obviously I'm also a complete hypocrite since one of my closest friends is an ex boyfriend from a few a few years bac; mind you, he's a stubbon maschoist clearly and wouldn't let me do my normal 'cut all ties' approach to splitting up as we didn't split up for the normal reasons people do and there was genuinely no animosity. I'm glad that we are friends and I can't imagine us not being friends but those first few months were proper ropey... lots of rows, lots of re-setting of boundries, lots of self control and disciplin... It was hard work. And we slipped up more than once which made it doubley harder... So definitely don't do that.
I guess you have to weigh up how long you were together, what the factors were in the break up and how much you're prepared to making the friendship work. As I said, it's really not easy.
Five weeks is a relatively short space of time and I would have thought some sort of cooling off period would be needed. Personally, unless there are kids involved, I would not like to be in touch with an ex, I've not enough friends not to want an ex lover as one, they're two different things.
That said, obviously I'm also a complete hypocrite since one of my closest friends is an ex boyfriend from a few a few years bac; mind you, he's a stubbon maschoist clearly and wouldn't let me do my normal 'cut all ties' approach to splitting up as we didn't split up for the normal reasons people do and there was genuinely no animosity. I'm glad that we are friends and I can't imagine us not being friends but those first few months were proper ropey... lots of rows, lots of re-setting of boundries, lots of self control and disciplin... It was hard work. And we slipped up more than once which made it doubley harder... So definitely don't do that.
I guess you have to weigh up how long you were together, what the factors were in the break up and how much you're prepared to making the friendship work. As I said, it's really not easy.
nothing has happened between us and to be honest i dont know why we broke up, she dumped me while on holiday for 7 weeks, she came back a few days ago and we aint really spoke about why,
just talking about whats going on in our lives. her nan and granddad are dying, my parents are splitting up. i still live at home (im 24 and only here cos i have money problems) so its effecting me and my younger sister a lot.
my ex and I are just trying to help eachother with our problems, we talk about things and whats happening and how we feel.
she wants a fresh start is the basic reason that she dumped me from what ive heard so far, she doesnt thinks shes good enough for me, ive told her that its stupid but she wont listen. its over between us and it hurts like hell, but ive known her for 3 years and she is my best friend, i dont have many friends and dont want to let her go. partly cos i hope that we can work things out but all so cos she knows me better than anyone and i need her support right now just like she needs mine. the problem is that it just feels normal, like we are happy and together again. its confusing me and her. is it really possible to do this or should we just give eachother space and then see how things are in a few months??
just talking about whats going on in our lives. her nan and granddad are dying, my parents are splitting up. i still live at home (im 24 and only here cos i have money problems) so its effecting me and my younger sister a lot.
my ex and I are just trying to help eachother with our problems, we talk about things and whats happening and how we feel.
she wants a fresh start is the basic reason that she dumped me from what ive heard so far, she doesnt thinks shes good enough for me, ive told her that its stupid but she wont listen. its over between us and it hurts like hell, but ive known her for 3 years and she is my best friend, i dont have many friends and dont want to let her go. partly cos i hope that we can work things out but all so cos she knows me better than anyone and i need her support right now just like she needs mine. the problem is that it just feels normal, like we are happy and together again. its confusing me and her. is it really possible to do this or should we just give eachother space and then see how things are in a few months??
Why don't you just go with the flow and take it as it comes, you might even find that without the pair of you thinking too much about whats going on you just both might naturally drift into a good, sound relationship.The only thing you do need to be careful of is that she doesn't move on when you've outgrown your usefulness or you'll be heartbroken again. Its crap when a woman (or man) says they don't want a relationship because you are too good for them. Its not honest.
I'm in a very similar situation. I was seeing a girl for a year that I fell in love with completely, and then she called it off, saying that the buzz had disappeared. We've known each other for 4 years and were good (& flirty!) friends before going out. She seems completely up for being friends as before with no apparent feelings at all! I however am struggling with this, as I still have deep feelings. I've tried but it's not working. We split up about 6 weeks ago. I think the no contact is the way to go. Unfortunately I work near my ex and see her most days.
I fancy that like me, you still really want more, but have to get used to the idea I'm afraid.
I fancy that like me, you still really want more, but have to get used to the idea I'm afraid.
it doesnt matter anymore, shes decided that we cant be friends anymore as it feels the same as it did when we were together.
ive tried to make her see that we werent any different when we were togehter as to when we were friends, (apart form the sex and kissing) we just get on so well that there wasnt really any difference, just a few words, i love you, i need you! but she wont listen, so now ive lost my girlfriend and the best friend ive ever had.
ive tried to make her see that we werent any different when we were togehter as to when we were friends, (apart form the sex and kissing) we just get on so well that there wasnt really any difference, just a few words, i love you, i need you! but she wont listen, so now ive lost my girlfriend and the best friend ive ever had.
I don't want to throw a spanner in to the works here but you said that she went away on holiday for a while? Then said that she thought you were too good for her? ...It sounds to me like she may have done something that she's regretted whilst on holiday.
Whenever I hear that 'you're too good for me line' it always makes me suspicious to be honest!
Whenever I hear that 'you're too good for me line' it always makes me suspicious to be honest!
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