Family Relationships

[frankngracie]

If you are 34 should you have to answer to your family about where your going and how late you\'ll be home just because you live with them?

[pericat]

Lottie I've been reading your answers on the parents thread - and it would appear that we both had or have very difficult mothers. That coupled with having a difficult son on my part makes me look at situations from numerous circumstances - it's a killer

[Robinia]

I'd say it was polite to tell the family when you hoped you'd be back if you had a rough idea but if it was an unknown then say, sorry not sure. Maybe they're worriers and not being nosey or controlling....I asked my 34yr old son to let me know he'd arrived home safely yesterday (he was on a crazy new cycle!).....and he did! :o)

[zzxxee]

i agree with what your saying loftie about 11 year olds going into town im just saying i personally would not let an 11 year old go into a city centre at that age many kids of 11 are still at primary school or have only just entred secondary school i think 11 year olds on their own in a city centre are to young and vunerable.

i accept though each case is different as some kids of this age may live close to a town centre some may need to get a bus train journey and live a fair distance away

all im saying is me personally i think 11 is to young but i dont condeme parents who allow their 11 year olds in town by theirselves as i havce said WE ALL PARENT DIFFERENTLY X

[~Wingnut~]

Yep we're all different! It was a town she went to and not a City centre may I just point out, also it is one she knows like the back of her hand and I was in constant contact with her via her mobile phone. She was with an equally sensible friend (not on her own) who met her Mum in said town and then they went off to the cinema.
I know what your saying tho zzxxee as there are some 11 year olds (probably kids older than that) who shouldn't be left to go off on their own and probably couldn't be trusted. Thankfully my daughter isn't one of them :o)

[pericat]

Mobile phones are great for keeping in touch with that age group, I have a 12 year old myself and she goes to the local shopping centre about 5 mins drive away, town however is 15 miles away and very big so not until she is at least 15, but Im in Dublin and a smaller city would probably be different.

[Kim A]

Common courtesy demands a certain degree of information be forthcoming, especially if one lives at home and particularly if your parents are elderly or unwell and inclined to fretting. However, that certainly doesn't mean that you should be required to disclose full, frank and comprehensive details of your every move. You are, after all, an adult. Perhaps you might try volunteering a certain amount of sanitised and censored information before they ask you for it - a sort of pre-emptive strike, if you will. Worked like a charm for me.

[cassa333]

If you want to be able to come and go as you please without having to answer to anyone else then get a place of your own. You will probably then have to be responsible and pay the bills though.

[ainitatyb]

I suggest you discuss it with them and try to understand each others point of view. I am currently staying with my son in his house and each day he gets 'interrogated' on the times of his comings and going by me, but he knows that it is not out of any concern about his lifestyle, merely the fact that I am a fanatical cook, and if I am preparing his meals to coincide with his movements I need to assess preparation and cooking times. He accepts this and lets me know details that under any other circumstance even I would agree would be intrusion into his privacy.

[TTG]

It is better then are concerned about you than not caring. They could want to know what time you will be back in case it's late and they are in bed. They will have to leave door off the deadlock or might be woken up.