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Problems with ex-wife

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bobjugs12 | 10:26 Tue 19th Jan 2010 | Family & Relationships
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Hi there, here's something i'm struggling to figure out.

My ex wife left me for another man after she'd had a string of affairs whilst we were married. We've been apart for approx 8 months now and her new fella has moved in with her. I've also started a new relationship.

Now i see my kids every weekend (they live 100 miles away) and all three kids have said they want to live with me, not their mother. Even my ex has been forced to admit that the kids are happier and better behaved for me than they are for her. I have helped her with different aspects of discipline and rewards for the kids to make sure they get the best possible life.

So here's where the question comes in: She has recently started acting like my best mate, telling me all about her new relationship, phoning me whilst (she knew) I was on a night out with my new girlf to tell me she was having a miscarriage, telling me all about her new bloke crashing his car. Why? She slept with other men whilst I was deployed on operations with the military, and then left me for a meat-headed van-driver. Does she really think I care? Should I politely tell her to go forth and multiply, or just nod along blankly for the sake of peace and quiet? Or is there an ulterior motive here? Is she trying to hurt me by showing how great her life is now? Or, is this some form of attempt at reconcilliation?

Ideas or hints welcome. Thanks
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Strikes me vibes, that a lot of us have something to be bitter about, if we let it get us that way, but I like to think some of us are better than all that and can rise above it.

Believe you me, I have plenty to be bitter about - with both my exes, but I'm not because it would destroy me and make me a different not-so-nice person. I have not let my experiences make me think that all men are barstewards - just as not all women are grade one b1tches.

You'll be fine bob - love your kids, embrace any new love that comes along, and like vibes said - play smart, be prepared to play long. You'll come out of it with your head help high and your pride intact. She'll get fed up trying to entice you once she accepts you are just not going to play her game her way.
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Vibes...ok :-)
well..... even I'd say 3 !!!!!!!
vibes....no problem.
Wouldn't it be nice guys, and bob, if these ex-marital jobbies and relationships could be ranted & raged over, then forgiven & forgotten as quickly and amicably?

Unfortunately.... :-(
Bob, I really feel for you - what a rotten situation.
The main people to be concerned about are your little 'uns. You sound as if you are doing a marvellous job and are showing a fantastic amount of self restraint. It takes a real man to do that! It's my opinion (as has already been said) that she doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. This is very common. Keep being polite and when she strays onto a subject that she shouldn't, steer her away from it.
Good luck.

Sqad - you obviously haven't had your medication today. Go lie down in a darkened room.
Olive...welcome back....I have missed you.
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... and you shouted at me vibra. Picking on a defenceless woman....!
vibra - while sqad is back in his padded cell, you can have 10 minutes on the naughty step....NOW!
Olive....giving someone a "kick up the backside" however unpopular and however untrue it is may well be the correct advice.

I had a registrar who had great potential, but he was unsure of himself and ducked out of making important decisions. I told him that these were glaring weaknesses and he would never make a surgeon and unless he attended to these points I would not recommend renewing his contract.

He did.

He is now Professor of Surgery in Bristol..................LOL
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she might not want you, but she dosen't want anyone else to have you either cus that means your over her and she won't like that, trust me, my partners ex is still doing it after 4 yrs

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