Good Joke?

[Scullywoo]

Go on, tell me one??!

[GMH]

Did you hear about the man who dreamt that he spilt a pot of glue?

He woke up with a sticky sheet.

[jaggers]

An Irishman, Englishman and Scottishman are trapped in their broken down car in the middle of a desert. They decide they have to abandon it, but they will each take a piece of the car with them to aid their journey through the extreme habitat.

So the Englishman takes the stereo, for entertainment and listen to his fave music. The Scottishman takes the seat to rest along his travel. And the Irishman takes the dorr, so he can wind the window down if it gets too hot! 

[crisgal]

a bloke walks into a bar and orders a pint and a whisky. He drinks the pint, pours the whisky in his top pocket and orders the same again. Again he drinks the pint and pours the whisky in his top pocket.

After doing this all night the man is really drunk and struggles to keep upright, when he tries to order another round the landlord refuses, saying he's had far too much!

The drunk immediately gets aggressive "Don't tell me when I've had enough you ****! I'll have you anytime - come on, outside now!"

A little mouse appears from the pocket and slurs "Yeah and bring yer f*****g cat!"

[JFJFJFJFJF]

How do you turn a duck into a soul-singer?

 

 

Just put it in a medium oven until its Bill Withers.

[bwfcolinh58]

i wanted to do some decorating,so i got my step ladder......

 

i dont get on with my real one

[cat woman]

A red head, brunette & blonde are going to shot for treason, and they are desperately thinking of ways to escape. they go to the firing line and the red head goes first, she shouts, " EARTH QUAKE! "and the soldiers turn run and she makes her escape. The brunette goes next, she shouts " TORNADO!", again the soldiers turn and run for safety, and she makes her escape. The blonde goes up to the firing line, she shouts "FIRE!"  :-)

[neill]

I`ve given up having sex with my wife on religious grounds. I`m Jewish and she`s a pig.

[neill]

Two ladies are sharing a bath,1st lady say`s,"where`s the soap"? 2nd lady replies,"yes it does".

[KIDDY]

A blonde is driving through Florida on her way to Disneyland. As she gets closer she see a sign that says, 'Disneyland left'. So she turns around and goes home.