Poodi, I haven't read through this thread, but just want to say I am thinking of you. My Mum died a year ago, and we too had a ceremony similar to a humanist, but I actually led it and we had music that she loved. It turned out to be a spiritual and wonderful occasion. Her ashes have been with our local undertaker, who only lives just up the road, but last week I felt I wanted her near, so she is in a sprinkler container (supplied by the Funeral Director) which is decorated with bluebell woods (May was her birthday). She now sits on the dressing table in the room she occupied with us in her final years of life before she had to go into a home :o(. I thought she would like it in there because it gets the sun. I can also see her whenever I want.
I am not a religious person and have surprised myself that this is what I want. I am quite spiritual though. Evenually her ashes will be scattered in the garden at her old home, which is now occupied by my son and his partner. We have arranged for a rose to be planted which bears her name.
Love and best wishes to you Poodi.