how to hell do i deal with this ?

[dmax]

my wife is crazy, she was making food this morning , im in next door meanwhile she leaves it on cooker without notifying me, it burns , she screams and yells abuse at me holding our baby in her arms,shouting vile insults and slamming doors, she is ok for 3-5 days then she explodes again , looking at her face you would know she has a nasty filthy temper her brows meet and she has a scowling look , im at the end of my tether, its making me suicidal , i want out but how do i leave my kid i cannot, if i dint get out i will seriously hurt her. she throws things and bangs doors, ive told her before hundreds of times she cant do this in front of kid, she is ok then within a short period of time shes back to being evil edna, i feel like crying and am lying here shaking now , our beautifull daughter is suffering, i dont need calls to see samaritans ir any of that rubbish i need to understand why she is like this, post natal maybe ? but shes allways been firey..i cant leave my kid in her hands , im unemployed now and ive no family so i cant go to stay with family, i cant get a house quickly enough of my own , i feel i do need to get my daughter to myself but ive nothing to offer her no job/home/family members cousins or nieces. fk this !!!!

[dmax]

society if i asked her to go for a long walk she would wollop me with something, shes crazy !! last time she was like this was 6-7 days ago , i left home for a night and slept in friends then went back next day , even then she didnt come to me an say sorry it was me went to her as allways, im to finish it but im worried about my child, i hate her now and her behavior makes me not want to touch her sexually i would cringe she doent realise shes driving me away now, if i dont go i will end up fighting with her and doing something stupid, she took a knife to me before but didnt go for me just lifted it but still how many times do i turn away/ i know i need out.

[ummmm]

Not you society....

I don't mean to rude dmax but what is your wife doing cooking and holding a baby while you are at home?

[redcrx]

DMAX,

can you please tell us what you have done to try and get help for your wife so far?
you just seem to be looking for a way of escaping, dont you think that itd be best to help your wife first and foremost?
I realise that you must be scared of her when she is angry but surely you have the days inbetween where you can talk and discuss things?

the number for the health visitor is in your childs red book, please go and call them now

[yinyang]

Rather than her going for a long walk, why don't you get the baby in the pram and go for a walk yourself. It would give you both a bit of breathing space.

Do you give her a lot of help with the baby? Some women ar determined to prove they can cope or feel that nobody can really be trusted with the baby so effectively block others out and run themselves into the ground in the process.

From what you are saying it really sounds as if your wife needs professional help as quickly as possible.

You must have loved her enough not so long ago to marry her and want to have a child with her. Don't give up on her just yet, at least find out if this behaviour ha a medical cause and can be treated. The woman you fell in love with migh still be in there somewhere.

[lotsafun]

good points on here. why not give her a couple of hours to herself so she can chill, have a bath in peace and perhaps a nap, you may find this works wonders and it gives you some special time with your daughter. It doesnt have to cost anything, a walk around the park costs nothing. You say your out of work, could money be a problem? with money problems, lack of sleep etc its easy to understand that you are both at breaking point.
I still feel that she needs to seek professional help, if she loses her temper on a regular basis then she is a danger to herself, you and your child.
Has she got any family nearby who could offer to take your daughter off your hands for a night? you could either have a night out together, or if money is tight then why not have a quiet night in with a bottle of wine, and some munchies and watch a film together witha early night. sometimes a good night off can work wonders.
do either of you show eachother any affection, such as a hug or a nice comment now and again?

[Old_Geezer]

Maybe you both need to see a marriage guidance councillor ?

It's not that I don't sympathise with what you have to put up with but it seems to me that you are both having problems coping. So continually calling your partner crazy isn't helping. I myself feel very emotional these days, part of which is being quick to anger, and I put that down, at least partially, to lack of sleep. It seems to me you could both do with some help, and if you find it difficult to talk it over rationally between you, a third disinterested party might help. Find out what is causing all the stress and bad feeling.

[sahida]

are you doin your bit, as in helping with your daughter and round the house, pls dont say you have nothin to offer, your daughter has you as her father, that is a gift on it own!

[dmax]

im doing my bit! cant stress enough.im burnt out helping her, its her temper !! has anyone else been through this please let me know, im in for the long rough ride here as im not leaving my kid,im staying ! ive heard everyone but i want to hear of anyone wh has expirienced this behaviour, also she wasnt really this bad before the child came though she was allways bad tempered( should have ran like hell)

[TTG]

When the baby is asleep in the evening. Switch of the tv, unplug the phone and tell her you are concerned. Try not to get into a slanging match and just hear what she has to say. Don't mean to be personal but are there money problems? In this day and age, this is usually the prime cause.

[sweetsleeps]

ok iam not that bad but i do seem to have the same pattern going on aweek or so iam fine then bang my other half doesnt know whats hit him he does put up with alot from me but i put up with alot to iam cant help myself i start to point one thing out then i go for it. stress depressed and fed up i hold my toung and let it all build up the let it go all in one go. she does want to say sorry but if she did and you said just one thing she doesnt want to hear it starts all over again call your doctors and they will tell you of a local couple help group it works and even if the relationship is over at least you can work on a friendship for your childs sake

[dmax]

red , ive tried to talk believe me im tired, she is fine when it all blows over and i feel she is sorry but she never admits it ,she never apologises, after a week she explodes again

[dmax]

fair pley to you sweetsleeps for bieng honest , is there any more ladies on here who are like this ? be honest! ive noticed beside the bath this morning a couple of tampax packets it must be her piroids started , i can understand the time of month but she is allways the same so im thinking pnd .. will try talk to her ...(in a few days time) when shes ready

[redcrx]

dmax, honestly if you are concerned that much then please call the health visitor and discuss your worries.

Dont just let this snowball into something that could destroy your family!

[suzie1]

u have tried to talk to her....didnt work, why would it, she is upset, sad and over tired with everything and the baby.....maybe help her with the cooking and household chores, seeing as your unemployed, that could be p*ssing her off, that you have a baby and no job to provide for it....she may well have postnatal deppresion or even bipolar, i had pnd, and i was almost like that, but i got help, my hubby got fed up and screamed back at me just like i did to him for several months, and thats when i saw sense, and i got help, along with my hubbys support....i never thought things would get better...but they did, so please dont be down about this and dont lose hope, you are the adult, your baby is stuck in the middle, be the big person and put a stop to her behaviour for yours, hers and the babys sake. she cant control her temper when she loses it, i know...and if she has always been like this, why have a baby with her......

[suzie1]

Dmax, how are things with the mrs? Hope all is well x