Breavement

[Moomle]

What are the recognised stages of bereavement and how many are there

[Clanad]

Bereavement is a natural phenomena which occurs on average two or three times in each person's life. It should not be considered as a pathological disorder unless particular problems develop.

The natural stages in bereavement are:

Shock
Denial - usually overcome within two months
Anger/Guilt - normally lasts less than six months
Depression - should be considered a problem if it lasts more than twelve months
Acceptance
The stages of bereavement may be overlap or occur out of sequence

(Source: GP Notebook)

[dmsjps]

Clanad, I never knew that, but it seems to make sense when you read it. It will vary from person to person of course, because everyone reacts differently, but yeah. I'm a bit worried now because I lost my mum 8 years ago and I still sometimes get really, really upset and just cry for hours because I miss her so much. I don't think I'm depressed though, because every other part of my life goes along normally and no one sees anything different. I've got to stop talking about it now or I'll start again.

[woofgang]

I think its a bit of a misnomer (yes I kow what the GP notebook says) to call them stages. It is more accurate to say that this is what a bereaved person is likely to experience. They may not experience all of these aspects, and may experience more than one of the more than once, also have "flashbacks"

Pleease remember also that the feelings of bereavement are not just about people dying. People can experience those feelings over the loss of a limb, of a job, of a lifestyle, or at divorce for instance.

[woofgang]

dmsjps my dad died in 1979 and I still feel rage about it sometimes. I still cry too. I know that I am not depressed and some of my feelings are hormone related but it is still normal to feel grief for extended periods especially if there are other stressors in your life.

Talking about it can help and if it begins to affect your everyday life, not just the bits where you are in company with other people, then help is indicated. If you have long spells when you are happy and don't cry then you are probably not clinically depressed but, as usual, if concerned then go and see your doc.

[woofgang]

sorry, I wasn't clear in that last post. I meant to say that if you are okay (or can pretend to be) when you are in company, but often or always cry when you are alone, then I would say that its time to get some help.

[barney rubbl]

Hi,I am not sure if there are any such stages of bereavement.I lost my darling husband 1 year ago next Sunday,and I cant come to terms with anything at the moment.Sometimes I feel good about myself then bitter and twisted.I want to talk about him then I dont,and if I do I cry,then I feel embarrassed.I suppose you deal with such things in different ways,its just a horrible feeling as I am not a depressive type of person by nature.My sons are brilliant and my lovely little grandson keeps me going.I suppose eventually it will heal,but its a long way off yet.