Mum and Dad have gone to a wedding...

[NoMercy]

There's a chicken in the oven and Jack has just had a crap in the garden. I'll let you know if anything else happens.

[craft1948]

His new girlfriend looks very like his late wife........

[Barmaid]

damn! I was just saying to the FH that as he has been a widower for some time now he might be on the market.............