Calling all mothers - how helpful are your husbands at parenting?

[MissCommando]

I feel like I'm quite lucky as my husband is and always has been a very hands on dad. He had so much more patience with our daughter when she was screaming with colic as a baby and much better at settling her etc. When she was 5 months old, I went back to work (had to for money) and worked every other weekend. He was more than happy/capable looking after her. On the weekends I didn't work, he'd sometimes take our daughter out for an hour so I could have a nice bath or extra bit of time in bed or whatever.

He's always been fantastic. He is now disabled and still does more with our daughter (who's 3) than my brother in law who has a 2 year old and 6 month old. My brother in law does nothing at all with his children - wouldn't dream of changing a nappy, never ever gives his wife a break from the children on a weekend, will not even put a bottle on to heat. She asked him one morn to bath their baby and he went on the laptop instead. Infact he's never been on his own with his kids EVER! I think it's an absolute disgrace as when you have children, I think both the mother and father should be equally responsible for helping out with childcare (especially on a weekend).

When my sister in law was due to give birth (have a planned c section with her 2nd), we went to look after their 2 year old for a few days. My husband and I noticed how my brother in law would plan lifts back from the hospital etc so he wouldn't have to look after his own 2 year old.

My husband rings me everyday to see how our daughter is/got off to school etc. He is such a doting daddy and my daughter idolises him. I think it's lovely.

So how helpful are your husbands with childcare? Sadly, a few women in my family do around 98% of the 'childcare'.

P.S My husband was working full time when our daughter was born etc.

[daffy654]

I did everything for all 3 of my children. I wanted it that way and would get quite snappy if anyone else tried to 'take over'.

[numnum]

god, i was going to start a similar topic!!!!

i think it depends on each families life, hours of work, family help etc. for me i find i have such a good routine with the kids when my partner is working. we go out, do things, dinners on the table for him coming home, we have fun but when he's home evereything seems to stop. we barely eat a meal (the kids get fed) but it seems to be a struggle to russtle up something. we just cant get into working as a team when he has so much time off work

but with his job he can sometimes only work a few long days a month or can work 2 whole weeks a month. so he is home a lot and thats when i expect him to do stuff.

i also work for myself and went back 2 months after having a section but an example last week, i got up with them, got them ready, went to work then when i got back he went to bed!!! when i'm still recovering from a tonsilectomy then getting bronchitis

i had a section in febuary and me and the little one ended up sleeping downstairs so my boyfriend could get sleep!! i got my tonsils out a couple of months ago, he went sailing a few days after and left me ill and home alone with a baby and a 2 year old when he knows i have no family around to help me out when ill, i was bouncing off the walls i was that dizzy. my partner sounds quite like your brother in law. he has only washed our youngest and he's 8 months. and it wasn't till i knew i was getting a section that he bathed our 2 year old for practice for when i wouldn't be able to lift them !!! the list could go on

[numnum]

annie, do you want to train my boyfriend!! haha. :)

even getting my OH to make a cuppa for me is like getting blood out of a stone.