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What is the United Kingdom's definition of the word rural?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Rural means the places where the inhabitants are sad and lonely individuals who live in small and isolated groups in remote places called �villages� or �farms�, or on rugged offshore islands. Many of them live 100 miles or more from the nearest railway station or bus-stop, and have to drive in their cars (or even �tractors� sometimes) to do even the most basic of everyday things, like going to the shops to buy some chocolate biscuits, or going to a library to borrow a book about Marxist theory. In many cases, these peculiar people also have to struggle up and down steep hills or across muddy fields or hedges to get anywhere. These warped and depraved countryside people suffer from unfortunate ailments, including red necks, rough pink cheeks, swivel-eyes, reactionary political views, a preference for smelly cheeses, home-made bread or lumpy jam, and mental disorders such as a bizarre fetish for wearing tweed, or for riding horses and slaughtering foxes just for the fun
of it. The tragedy of this situation is that a lot of these people are so twisted in their attitudes that they have, amazingly, come to believe that their lifestyle is somehow normal, natural or reasonable.
Urban means the towns and cities where we normal reasonable open-minded tolerant sensible people live.
I grew up on my dad's farm, the way he had grown up on his Dad's farm. My Dad had a redneck from digging the potatoe drills to make sure he could feed his family through the winter. He wore a twead cap, but it kept the snow off when he had to dig a path through the drifts so we could get to school.
My Mum grew up at Broarding Top above Hebden Bridge and had to walk 2 miles down to the Grammar School and 2 miles back up at night, but she shared a classroom with Ted Hughes and Bernard Ingham, two local lads whose fathers also farmed. She passed her O levels and went to be a nurse, looking after typhoid patients at Monsul Hospital and premature babies at Pendlebury, but she gave that up in 1950 to take on a farm with my Dad. She grew strawberries, Gooseberries and blackcurrents and any veg you could mention. We were the best fed kids in school, and all the townies off the council estate had weeks off school with soft colds and sore throats.
My Dad drove a tractor more than a car, but a car was no good for getting down the hill when my Mum went into premature labour at 2am and needed the doctor.
The townies were ignorant scruffy interbred no hopers, who knew how to swear and set a whole season's crop of straw on fire in the barn, but not clever enough to run off, no, they just stood and watched it burn then told the cops it was only a laugh. Yeah, the three nursing cows that suffocated in the back shippen with their calves would have appreciated that.
Townies, scum of the earth, i believe they call them Hoodies now.