to say no nicely?

[gemmabe]

How do you turn down a proposal of marriage from someone whom you very much care about but you just aren't ready to settle down with anyone, without making it appear as if you DON'T care at all?

[andy hughes]

It's not going to be easy, because at the end of your speech, you are still saying 'No'.

Best to start with how much you care for him, and how honoured you are by his proposal, but that you are not ready for marriage yet, and you hope he will still care about you, and you can still be close to each other.

This avoids making him feel totally rejected, because you have said how honoured you are, it also makes him feel that it's marriage you are not ready for, rather than being married to him, and if you can still be close, he knows you aren't totally horrified by his asking.

If the relationship dies a natrual death after this, and it may well, at least you have been as kind as you can - something he can look back on when the pain has faded. Good luck.

[Cockney_si]

I'm sure if they really want to be spending the rest of their life together with you then they should have some degree of respect to understand your esplanation of not wanting to settle down.

If they get moody or annoyed then it's a sign of things to come.  You need a rock you can build on and maybe one day you'll wake up wanting to settle down and everything seems right.

Good luck.