Father of the bride...

[CAJ1]

I'm getting married and neither of my parents will be attending, the only male relative I will have attending is my younger brother who I am not very close to and who isn't the most reliable!

Does anyone have any ideas on who can walk me down the aisle and who could possibly do a speech in lieu of the father of the bride speech?

Its a nightmare - no one to walk me down the aisle, no father of the bride speech, no father/daughter dance, the top table won't have my parents sat there and they'll be missing from the photos. Any suggestions on the situation and ways around it would be great :)

Thanks

[woofgang]

honey its your and your loved one's day, have it how you want...you needn't have a top table, speeches etcet or you can invite who you want to make them.

[jackthehat]

The important thing is that you have people around you whom you love and trust (it helps if they are the same people.......) and if that can't be family, then friends are the very best next thing !!

I hope that you have hours of fun planning your big day.

I wish you all the very best. :o)

[arwyn]

You can sit where you like and how you like, also who say's you have to have you'r photos a certain way... I was my bestfriends maid of honor and my hubby gave her away. And the speeches----- well thats another tale ha ha---- most people had a go.

[Barmaid]

To build on what JtH said, just remember something someone once told me

"friends are the family we choose for ourselves".

So get your mates involved and have a blast!

[CAJ1]

Its no problem ljdksa, people ask all the time and I've dealt with it :)

Barmaid, I have just realised there when you asked what would I like that all I have done is just worry about what others will think about the situation and not what I want. I want my brother to walk down the aisle with me, the only person in my family who has sort of been there no matter how unreliable he is. I want friends who know me best to talk about me, us and the good times we've had. I want to have my first dance with my husband and then I want to dance with everyone that I love and has been my family for the last 5 years. I've just got it sussed the second I read what you typed, just needed to stop and think what did I want! :)

[CAJ1]

I do have a dog redhelen, she's a cocker spaniel! There for me through thick and thin, my best mate!

[boxtops]

CAJ - I don't know your situation and I didn't have a church wedding, but we got married six years back, in a medieval court room and the layout was very like a church. My parents are no longer with us, and I must admit it didn't bother me one bit - I took myself down the aisle in the company of my glorious bridesmaids, it felt splendid. My sister made a speech, the dance was my new husband and me, the whole day was filled with our friends and it was fabulous, we still talk about it. Ask your brother if he will do the giving away, by all means - it's YOUR day, you make it how you want it. Have a fantastic time!

[CAJ1]

If I do get my brother to do it, I will ask him to come over a few days before so I know he's there and if he doesn't turn up I will just walk down by myself. It will almost be like walking from being on my own to properly being united with my other half and our future which will include having a family of our own.

Thank you everyone for your kindness and thoughts and for re-assuring me it doesn't have to be traditional and following what everyone else does. I always get answers when I come on here, you're a great bunch of people xx

[4getmenot]

end of suggestions! Didnt you read peeps im doing it!

[Twirls]

We didn't have any speeches at our wedding. We also didn't have a top table because we wanted it to be relaxed and informal where folk could chat to whoever they wanted to and we could speak to all our guests. Also took away the stress of table planning - who can / can't sit next to each other. We had a great time and people still tell us how much they enjoyed it. It wasn't a church wedding so no worries about walking down the aisle. Hope it all goes really well for you.

[CAJ1]

I should have a competition 4get and the winner gets to do it lol

[JonnyBoy12]

I can not believe I am hearing this! Your own parents are not attending your own wedding; dare I ask why, unless this question has been asked before. I have just had a great idea, why don't all us ABers come and give you away. We all care about each other on here, at least most of us do, and we could all meet each other here. Good idea, eh?

[CAJ1]

I was fostered when I was younger JonnyBoy, I hadn't spoken to either of them in over 10 years. I have recently been in contact with my father who still has a slight drink problem and blames everyone else for his problems and actions amongst a lot of other faults. I wrote to my mother and I know 100% that she got my letter but she did not reply, apparantly she didn't take any photos or memories of me or my siblings when she left my father 2 years ago. They've not been there for me half my life, I know my father would come to my wedding but I don't want him there and if he was there then my brother definitly wouldn't come. I also came to the conclusion that I do not want to know my mother in the future, if she can do what she did to her own children and not want to be in their lives when they offer to forgive her then she's not the type of person I need in my life.

I think it would be great to have all the ABers there! :)

[CAJ1]

Thanks redhelen, thats very thoughtful of you. I have read many self-help books, I will try these two. Thanks again xx

[JonnyBoy12]

Sorry, but I just had to ask CAJ. Yes, I think we should all come and give you away, we are like one big family here. We would have to give you wedding presents as well. What would you like us to give you for the big day?

[CAJ1]

No problem JonnyBoy, curiosity is human nature and I wouldn't have posted my question if I felt I couldn't explain why :-)

Well, after the generosity of every ABer taking time out to come to my wedding I don't feel I could ask for anymore! I don't really want anything, just for everyone that cares about me to be there and share the day. We're lighting sky lanterns at the end of the night on the beach and letting them go, we'll have a beautiful day...