A good friend of mine is HIV positive. She has been for 3 years as her ex boyfriend was a druggy behind her back and bisexual. A sad story really
I have always supported her in this situation.
We haven't spoken for a few months due to a stupid misunderstanding and partyly the reason below:-
She came to visit me just before Xmas and me and her new boyfriend, (Well she's been with him 3 years) got talking on a night out.
He was saying how he wanted kids, but that my friend hasn't yet got pregnant. I said well why would she as she uses condoms. To which he replied, 'we have never used condoms, as i'm allergic to them'!!
My friend always said she used protection in order to proect the boyfriend from the disease. He doesn't even know she has it and she's totally lied about using condoms throughout their relationship. There is no need for him to lie as he is non the wiser about her condition and it was just a general conversation.
I think this is bang out of order and have totally dropped my respect for her since.
I would never open my mouth as this isn't for me to ruin lives in a big way, but that is what she is doing to her current partner. Surely this is illegal. If he does have it, he will need drugs for it surely.
The worst thing is he's such a nice lad, only 23 and works really hard for the family and her son that isn't even his.
I could never say anything, but what would you do?
I don't have time to read all the posts here, but basically you are willing to let a man die so as not to upset anyone or tread on anybodies toes???? Get a grip and tell the poor bloke. If he's already been infected then he can start immediate treatment and if he isn't then he can make an informed choice about what to do next. Stop worrying about her knowing whether or not it was you who said anything and do the right thing!!!!
I think your friend sounds very selfish. She couldn't have been allergic to all condoms. Its very sad this has happened to her, but not to tell the lad, is downright evil.
I think telling him will have to be handled very carefully - lets face it, your not just talkling about catching a cold here - I would get advice from an Aids Helpline on the best way to deal with it.
Yes definitely tell him now. She is one selfish screwed up cow! Dont worry about interfering its the right thing to do. Let us know how you get on. The poor lad.