How Do I Move On

[milly143]

I don't really want to put this on here but I don't really have anywhere or anyone else I can express myself to.

My boyfriend of 3 years called time on our relationship on Sunday and I'm frankly a complete mess. We had some problems last year and had a short break from each other but he persued me and convinced me he had made a huge mistake, so we resolved our problems and had been so happy together again that we were not only finally going to sort out moving in together but he even convinced me he was about to propose, making me look at rings and getting my finger sized, all unprompted. Then suddenly over the last couple of weeks he has been offish with me. Not wanting to discuss things about getting things moving with the house, etc. I could feel this was coming and had several bad dreams last week about it but even on Saturday night, after he had been out drinking, he called me on his way home to tell me how much he loved me and that he missed me, calling me all the little cutesy names, etc so when I woke on Sunday morning I thought it would be ok, until I saw him Sunday night and he finished it. He gave me the reason that he wants to move back to Australia to be with his Grandparents and because he was so much happier living there. But he continues to say he still loves me. I just really don't get it.

He has so much stuff at my house that you'd be forgiven for thinking he lived there and he is supposed to be coming round at some point to sort it all out but I'm finding it so hard to deal with. I had all these ideas of how our future was going to be. Even when I was in hospital a few weeks ago, he was the perfect boyfriend. There was no sign of any doubt in his mind. Quite the opposite.

We've both been really stressed out with various things over the last month and I thought we had just been taking it all out on each other but I don't see any coming back from this. He seems to have his mind made up. I just feel like I've lost everything good I had and was going to have. It's only been a couple of days and I miss him so much. I really don't know what to do with myself.

I don't want to be angry with him and I don't want to fall out with him. We live so close to each other and have so many people between us that being nice to each other still is the only way it can be. I just want know how to make it hurt less.

Please don't make any suggestions that there is obviously someone else involved because I don't have any reason to believe there is and I don't want to hear it. I just want some advice.

[milly143]

Thanks for all your advice. I will try and take it on board. I know compared to some it's only a silly little relationship with no house, kids or marriage involved but it's a big deal to me.

Joeluke - get wonderfully fluffed.

[mccfluff]

milly its not silly at all :-(

Joeluke that was nasty and uncalled for

[ummmm]

3 years is a long time...

[vodkancoke]

milly I have been where you are too, it's awful and you feel like your world has ended. As Ummmm says, you will find someone else, someone who will appreciate being with you and who will want all the marriage, house and kids thing with you. You were obviously too good for him. Let him go and he will realise what he is missing....by the time he comes back to you, you will have moved on.

Sending you loads of hugs xxx

[br21]

Hi like everyone who has posted on here I feel for you, and like what they have said its a slow process and you can't think of anything else but there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to take each day as it comes x.

[888sally888]

My ex husband of 12 years left me out of the blue having been so attentive and romantic (words cards etc) when my girls were 8 and 10 - (11 years ago now!). He convinced me there was no one else and now he is married to one of my ex best friends. I had my doubts and I was right. I dont think any man leaves a relationship unless there is someone else on the hotizon.

I am sorry if everyone hates me for saying this but I do think its true. On the flip side, you sound like a lovely kind person and in time you may think you're glad he left. I felt that after about a year and now at the ripe old age of 46 I have met my soulmate and am v v happy. I wish you love and laughter for your future x

[TTG]

Milly you sound like a good person. I am sure you will meet another good person very soon. You will deserve each other.

Good luck and hope you get through this difficult time. We have all been there!

[4getmenot]

try and fill your time with things so you dont have time to think about him. Use this time to do all the things you've wanted to do on your own. Be happy in yourself and realise you are the only one you need and anyone else is an added bonus.

[4getmenot]

why is it everyone says 'you'll meet someone else' being single isnt so bad. And men are more attracted to confident woman who can show they dont need a man.

[joko]

would you move to oz? perhaps mention that....if hes made up then ok, but if hes still not happy with that then you know theres more to it...

[notasyoungasiwas]

Milly, this happens to us all at sometime in our life (maybe more than once in some cases). Yes, you feel like it's the end of the world and you think the sick empty feeling inside will NEVER go, but how do you think life goes on? We all get over it and plod ever onwards. At the end of the day it's only a broken romance and believe me, far more worse things than that happen as you travel through life. I can't believe that I once felt the way you are feeling now over a mere man! He wasn't worth it and neither is this man, he's playing you for a fool - just read back over your post and see how badly he's been treating you. I promise, you'll laugh about this in time to come and even be angry with yourself for letting it affect you like this. Some people are saying you are young and beautiful, so maybe they know you and if this is the case, 'the world is your lobster' as Hilda Ogden used to say in Corrie - get out there girl and live your life. Forget this waster.