Is it lazy just to give my daughter money for her birthday?

[Rapunzel61]

I always get her a little something to open - but am stumped as to what to get for her main present. She's 'funny' where jewellery is concerned, and her boyfriend usually gets her perfume. Last year I paid for her hair to be cut and coloured in a big famous salon, this year I just don't know what to do. I want it to be a surprise, I've tried asking her boyfriend and her sister if she's said anything about what she wants, but she hasn't.

[Rapunzel61]

Oh we had the I-want-a-pony bit from about 8 to 12 years old, we didn't indulge her because we couldn't afford it. At 12 she discovered boy bands, thank goodness.

[Carakeel]

I really cannot agree with Jonnieboy12 here. I think it is perfectly acceptable to give a teenager or an adult money, as they can then put it towards something they really want. Another alternative is to get gig tickets, theatre tickets or a spa day or even weekend of if your travel agent does vouchers and you know the person is planning a holiday, then get one of those to help with the costs. Friends who have recently married asked their friends not to buy gifts, but to just make a donation towards their honeymoon. Perfectly acceptable nowadays, when so many people have lived together before getting married and really, really don't need another toaster, lol!!

[joko]

as long as you dont buy her something that involves fashion or taste, as it will probably not be to hers...but stuff that is kind of generic or comsumable like spa day, toiletries, dvd, books, gadgety etc will probably be fine

[spotit3]

I always ask my children and they always come back to money. Usually they then put it towards something expensive they are saving for. They are 42, 40 and 35.

[tiggerblue10]

I don't think money is lazy either. I would prefer money if I was the recipient. We have a large shopping centre in Croydon and you can get vouchers that you can use in all the shops in it. We usually get these vouchers for birthday collections at work.

[starone]

I have watched while my daughter has taken unwanted or unliked gifts back to the shop where they were bought for exchange for either the money or another more acceptable gift. She also has a cupboard for gifts to be recycled to other people. What is the use of that? I always give money now instead of racking my brains for something which will turn out to be completely useless. In my own case I make sure they know what I want, if anything, which is usually books (of my own choice not theirs) or things like slippers.

[anneasquith]

a carefully chosen card, is the most important gift to give her.

[ummmm]

I'd be disappointed with just a carefully chosen card...

[bednobs]

me too! I'd be thinking "where's the present then"?

[Rapunzel61]

I always buy the most beautiful handmade cards made by a lady who sells them for animal charities. I spoke to my daughter this morning, and her birthday came up as she wanted to tell me that she'll be away with her boyfriend on the actual date, the she said if I hadn't got anything, could she have money towards some winter boots - which is what my other daughter said.

[ummmm]

Unless they couldn't afford one of course. But in general I'd be thinking they'd forgot to put the money in...

[anneasquith]

a nice card and cash for boots. problem solved :)

[jackthehat]

If only you knew someone who made hand-crafted greetings cards....

[anneasquith]

she does !!!!!!!!!!!!

[jackthehat]

Ah, yes...........two of them....

[Rapunzel61]

Her name is Dionne, she's married to a famous ex footballer, she runs a kennels and cattery the other side of Bromsgrove not far from the ginnyring