Difficult Situation...

[EmmaLou11]

Hi all, I'm new on here & just need some words of comfort really :-( will try to keep it brief - my boyfriend left me back in June after 6yrs together, we were engaged, lived together & trying for a baby - we were over the moon when I became pregnant in Feb as I had a miscarriage at 5 months last year. (Baba is due next Friday) when he decided to leave he swore he would be as involved as possible throughout the pregnancy and would 100% be involved in baba's life. Sadly it has not turned out that way, since June I've heard from him probably 3/4 times! The past 4 months have been a nightmare - I have tried my best to stay strong for baby and of course when bab arrives I know everything will be put into perspective! But at the moment I'm so heartbroken and let down by him :-( ive tried my best to stay positive and i even moved house last month to be closer to family, but the excitement of being pregnant with my 1st baby has completely gone out the window. The last time he contacted me he told me he wants a fresh start and wants nothing to do with me or anybody 'associated' with me (I presume by this he means baby) I don't understand how somebody could turn out to be so bitter :-( it's heartbreaking. I've gone over it in my head so many times and even thought the reason for his behaviour could be because he has met somebody else..but still don't understand why this would make him bitter towards me and want no involvement?

He has a child from a previous relationship and is a great dad so it's completely floored me knowing he wants no involvement in this baby's life :-( I'm realistic in that if somebody isn't happy in a relationship they have every right to leave BUT his choice to cut all contact with me has left me so confused and upset especially since the baby was planned?! I wish I knew what I could do get him to communicate with me but it's like he has 'switched off' I don't know what I can do? I am still in contact with his mum and she can't explain his behaviour either. I could really do with some words of comfort, if anybody has been in a similar situation or knows somebody who has been through the same? Baby is due in 6 days and I'm so scared to do this on my own....

Thanks so much all x

[flipnflap]

Of course we are only hearing your side of the story and the implication from this account is that you did or said nothing to deserve this. Does his mother - or any other mutual aquaintances you've asked - really not know why, or are they simply not telling you because they're afraid it'll affect the healthy delivery of your baby? If so, they're probably right to make that choice at this point. You too should leave off worrying about this matter until after you've given birth. A successful delivery should be your sole concern now. Good luck.

[old-equestrian]

Gosh that's a bit harsh flipnflap poor Emmalou's just looking for a little support at the moment - we all need some at times!
Sounds to me Emmalou that he's having a panic attack or is very immature & cannot accept responsibilty.
Once you hold your lovely baby in your arms you will feel so much happier i'm sure- best of luck for the future.

[nungate]

Hi Emma Lou my daughter's best friend found herself in much the same position as you do now. Let me tell you she now has the most adorable little girl who is nearly 2, you'll find that family and friends will rally round and help, there's a lot of support out there for you, just make sure you take it. As for Daddy - it's his loss, he may come to his senses at some point, just make sure he takes some responsibility for his child. You will not be doing this on your own, you'll find you are much stronger than you think.
I wish you all that's good, please when you have time let us know how you get on ..... boy? girl? xx

[ummmm]

My cousin did something similar, although the baby wasn't planned. He was adamant he didn't want anything to do with it.....Everything changed when the baby was born. He didn't get back with the mother but he's been a brilliant hands on Dad.

[bloaterbum]

Ihate to say this but Iwent out with someone who was literally left holding tbaby.He pi@@ed off with some one from work and boy was she sore.Ihave not seen her in years but Ican guarantee she is still angry and rightly so.He does see the child now 9 very regular and Ithink that makes her worse.
I really sympathise with you and all Ican say is he wasn't the bloke you thought he was.It does scare some men off the fatherhood theme

[murraymints]

poor love....sounds to me like he is scared of further responsibility..may change when the baby is here..do you have mum /sister/close friend with you ? you ought not to be doing this alone you know....