Is there ant such thing as a spoilt child

[Suetheramble]

I have just met a child from school.
After a comment it would appear there is now no such thing as a spoilt child a thick child an attention seeking child and plain nasty child. Do the parents go spend a few hours on the internet and give them special names?
Discuss.

[RATTER15]

Suetheramble, you wont be happy without these labels will you!!!

[EvianBaby]

Hang on, Sqad does have a point.

There is a such thing as a spoilt child or a badly behaved child. Not all of these children have any sort of learning disability. They are just being badly brought up. I do believe things like ADHD, etc exist but I also believe they are used as excuses with a lot of children. It's actually very bad for the children that really do have these problems.

[RATTER15]

I agree, these children certainly exist, im sure we have all met them, nobody is denying that. the problem is people suggesting that everybody that used to be labelled as this is now just being given a PC label, like Dyslexic etc.

[tigerlelly]

"All children are born nasty little control freaks and have to have niceness beaten into them!" :-)
I forget who said that.

[B00]

lol, there's a ring of truth in that tigerlelly!

When you think about it, all babies have the " I want something, and i want it NOWWWWWWW" trait don't they?

[starone]

I reckon if you put a label on a child he or she will do their best to live up to it. For instance if you label him 'thick' he won't even bother to learn.

[RATTER15]

Starbuck, I so agree with that, gave up trying at about the age of 10/11 when at the end of a lesson/lecture I had no idea what I had sat through, even if I was concentrating and interested in the subject. I told myself I was thick/stupid I accepted that until I found out recently that I was a severe Dyslexic. This new knowledge has turned my life around. The whole of my life has now fallen into place at the age of 53. Of course to some it will still be seen as just a different label to hang around my neck.

[RATTER15]

This may give a little insight into dyslexia by Kara Tointon, im sure many have already seen this televised a short while ago. I would imagine she is moderately Dyslexic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DQFbQWyOdw

[Barmaid]

Picture the scene - you are in the beer garden of a local pub. There are a couple there with a child of the age of approximately 8 who is refusing to go inside. He is screaming, crying, stamping his feet and refusing to join the family party inside. His communication appears to go no further than a resolute "no".

Do you think he is a:-
a) spoilt child
b) nasty child
c) thick child
d) attention seeking child
e) something else

and would you comment?

[RATTER15]

No I would not comment but I like most may assume any one of the above, I would also be aware that it could be any one of the many learning/behaviour disorders.

Wouldnt it be easier if we all had a label to hang around our necks, to say what unseen complaint we were suffering, after al, if we look "normal" then surely we should act/behave in a "normal" manner.

[sherrardk]

I would be thinking 'great, stops people looking at my children'. Seriously, children have melt downs for all sorts of reasons and I would mind my own business. The only time I would butt in is if the child looked like they we going to hurt themself and I couldn't see their parent/adult that they were with or if they were hurting one of my children (thing 1 is a magnet for nasty kids).

[ladyalex]

Barmaid...I would think that there was something very wrong going on, but of course would have no idea what.
I would not comment. It's not my business to interfere with other people's families unless there is blatant abuse going on.
My thoughts would be that the adults are/were not doing a very good job somewhere as they should not allow this situation to occur. They are the adults, the child is the child.

[seadogg]

The behaviour of children and adults is learned in a specific situation and can be unlearned in the right circumstances. Its just that in some kinds of people, such as the autistic, behaviour modification is a long process and requires considerable resources, and there's the rub.

[ummmm]

I would presume the child is scared of...

Crowds
Noises
Strangers
lights

[Barmaid]

Well you see 3 years ago, I'd have thought the child was spoilt, thick, plain nasty, attention seeking or in need of decent parenting. Frankly, I didn't care for children too much - particularly not badly behaved little sugars.

That's my issue and I have learned now not to judge. Mainly because I have had the honour of being a step parent to a little boy with profound learning difficulties, communication disorder, social issues and who is on the autistic spectrum. But he looks completely normal (Ratter hit this one on the head).

This happened to me in July at my grandmother's 85th birthday party. The people on the next table decided that they saw it as their god given right to express a view on his "appalling" behaviour and our "inadequate" parenting offering ill informed advice. My response was suitably cutting and I hope they will never proffer such a judgemental and uninformed opinion in the future.

There are children of the like in the OP's opening thread - a lot of that IS due to parenting IMO. There are also children who have difficulties which no amount of parenting and support can ever alleviate.

My point is let us not judge until we have walked a mile in that person's shoes. I learned not to. So to those who say that a child is made by its parents, is, in some cases true - but not all.

[annie0000]

I wouldn't presume the child was anything but I would be more interested in how the parents dealt with him/her.

I'm with sqad to a certain extent, I don't agree with kids being labelled thick, not everyone can be bright and learning conditions do exist. I also believe that there are children who have difficult behaviour because of conditions that they have. However, there ARE nasty, spoilt, and badly behaved children (may or may not be down to bad parenting) and the current trend is to give them a diagnosis as if this will solve the issue when actually they are perfectly normal but badly managed children.

[islasmum]

I agree with Annie000 - I do not have children, but my OH does, and his three grandchildren are a joy to be with (thank goodness!) but I do think that a lot of children have a label put on them by their parents, who may not have been diagonosed as such - I'm afraid that I see a lot of children as spoilt, but I do try to be tolerant as my best friend's son is autistic, and I remember quite a few nightmare shopping trips with them when he was younger, so I do try to give the child the benefit of the doubt. My friend's son is now in his teens, and is a nice, fairly well mannered, balanced young man.