Getting over someone?

[Crazy78]

To cut a long story short, I met the guy 6 years ago, he was at the time engaged to another girl (now his wife), though did not tell me this to start with, by the time I found out, I'd well and truly fallen for him. I still have strong feelings for him despite all this time passing, and this is preventing me from meeting anyone new. Over the years he has played this to his advantage, playing mind games, and even telling me he had split up with his partner, which resulted in a casual affair (I was the one to end
this). I understand that he doesn't want me, and that he is basically a liar, but STILL can't get over him. When I see him in social situations, I basically try to avoid him, but he always approaches me and starts the feelings off all over again. Anyone been in a similar situation?

[chazza]

Threaten that unless he gives you space and leaves you alone that you will have a word to his wife.

 

You dont have to follow it through but hopefully the threat should be enough.

 

Other than that, try and avoid situations where you will see him, if necessary , change your phone number etc)

[Betty Boop x]

I've been in a similar situation, and got my heart broken big time.  When things ended I was naive at first and kept in touch with him through text and occaionally seeing him, but this just meant my feelings for him never went away as he was still part of my life.

In the end the only way i eventually got over him was to cut contact completly and make sure he was no longer part of my life.  You are doing the right thing by avoiding him when you see him but if he comes up to you then you need to tell him you don't want to talk to him, if he still persists then leave.  I know you shouln't have to leave somewhere because of him, but if you talk to him for any length of time you will be back to square one.

You need to just get him out of your life otherwise the feelings will stay there and then get stronger when you talk to him.  If you think he will be at a certain place then try and avoid it.  It sounds difficult, i know how hard it is, but the good news is you want to move on and get over him, which is the first step.

I'm not saying it will happen straight away, especially as it has been going on for so long, it may take several weeks or even months but if you completly cut contact with him it will happen eventually.

That feeling is amazing when you finally realise your over them.

It sounds to me as though you have already been strong in this (ending the casual affair can't have been easy as you like him so much) and you just need to continue to be strong.

Good luck with this and i hope this advice helps, it worked for me so hopefully it will for you.

x 

[Crazy78]

Thanks to both of you, great advice....BB, yes, you've got it spot on there, I'm ok if I dont see him, but when I do, it all starts over again, like an addiction! Thanks again x

[kateryan]

Thankyou for your answer Rampart. I totally agree with some of what you say, but we are both 33!