Lol CD. I think you may need to talk to someone about those issues of yours! :)
I would want it abroad, too... with nobody but my children present. Oh, and the man obviously.
It wouldn't be a case of not wanting to pay for peoples flights, but more a case of I really couldn't be bothered with it all.
I hate fuss.
Free bar is a nice touch, but doubt I'd do it.
I went to a wedding in the summer which had a free bar, and people just took the Fosters. I couldn't believe people were ordering shots, and extra glasses of champagne. It's just taken advange.
With regards to gifts, I usually just get vouchers. When I got married, I asked for people to make donations to out local hospice. Some people didn't take any notice, and just got us stuff we didn't need, but the majority of people gave cheques made out to them, which was really nice.