Locking Escaping toddler in room at night

[numnum]

As I've discussed many time here my 2 year old is a handful and nothing works.

Its now been over a year now of him escaping from his room and trying everything that we can think or have read about I think the last resort now is locking him in his room.

A stairgate at the door is no use as he can climb over them. Tried him in our bed but thats just starting bad habbits and because he doesnt like us touching him he doesn't cuddle in he just goes hyper. We made a bed on the floor in our room for him but thats no use as he gets hyper and again starting bad habbits. I've marched him back to his room but that goes on for hours and doesnt seem to work. The list goes on.

I know there will be mixed opinions about this but has anyone else done everything they can and had to use this as a last resort?

[ummmm]

Eddie, define what is 'normal'

[EDDIE51]

This 2 year old is is exhibiting unusual behavior , hyperactvity, refusal of close human contact and the escapism , ( possibly even the fact that the 2 year old child is the size of many 3 & 4 year olds is relevent as well) I belive the 3 ( or 4) are related and are part of a wider picture. Substitute unusual behaviour then.

[Pollylod]

i dont know if locking him in his room would help it would just make him more stressed! have you tried taking him to see the doctor? if he's so hyper he could be allergic to some foods! they would do tests on him.

[fairycakes69]

We used gate hooks, high up on the door for our twins. They have a bit of give , so not a risk if there is a fire. And yes I know people will not agree with it, but you have to have lived with this to understand just what it is like. They didn't need a lot of sleep and had a habit of wandering the house, found them in the kitchen on worktop smashing all my glasses to the floor,was just one thing the did, the list is huge. Like your son they just climbed the stairgates. I know how hard it must be for you, it really is tiring and wears you down so much, It will get better, trying to stay one step ahead of them is so hard and the baby books are really no help. You are doing everything you can.
Good luck, you sound like a caring mum who is at the end of her tether, is there anyone who can give you a break?

[numnum]

sophie - i'd say a toddler whos a climber/escapee would be very able to climb a 4 foot fence. my little boy done it when he was 15 months no problem. the fence my mum has now had the wood going diagonally which i thought he wouldn't get over and he can. if he can get his fingers through and hands over the top he can climb in seconds which is very scary. hopefully with the distraion of all the other children in the nursery he may never make an escape attempt. you'll need to keep us updated.

[ojread2]

His behaviour is unusual for a 2 year old, hyperactive and refusal of human contact is not something a 2 year would usually display. The Houdini bit is pretty much par for the course tho

Does he sleep well once he is asleep? There is a lot more going on with this little boy than is within the realms of normal though - IMHO of course

[numnum]

i would say i've done nothing wrong with parenting. i do everything and more with my children but its just becoming such hard work taking him anywhere that i'm beginning to give up with things because anything I do is such a drama. I've tried every technique going and nothing registers.

He is starting playgroup after the holidays so I think in the next few months we'll have a better idea of what hes like away from us and around other kids without us and we may get better ideas on how to deal with him.

Has anyone heard of Sensory Integration Disorder? I've been reading blogs by parents with challenging children and this seems to be mentioned a lot. I might start a new topic about that

[ojread2]

who said you had done anything wrong?

Please, please make sure you let the staff know what he is really like because they can help you. Getting the parent to admit their is something wrong with their child is half the battle and as you appear willing to admit there is more going on than you think is normal, then your battle is also half won

Whats does your GP say?

[ojread2]

Ah, I see he is under the behavioural unit - wrong unit IMO

[bednobs]

hi i know people's opinions aren't all that helpful, because you must do what you think best as a parent. I just have visions of a young man at a psychiatrist office in 20 years time saying "my parents used to lock me in my room"
Does his dad help out at all? It seems like you are struggling on your own

[pastafreak]

The refusal to have close contact made me think of autism. How is he as far as communication is concerned? Does he respond when you tell him 'no'?

[Sqad]

Well.........how about a good SLAP?

[numnum]

sometimes he sleeps others he doesn't. its more he doesn't sleep much though. he was potty trained at 18 months (he decided) and out of night nappies now so he gets up for a pee through the night sometimes he settles fine once i put him back then others i know he'll be back up within the hour.

we've tried saying no, at at at, getting down to his level but nothing works.

another thing he doesn't like it if his clothes get we or if we go swimming he has to be naked so we cant go swimming now. this is an autism sign but he loves playing amoung water and getting his hands wet which probably contradicts that sign. i made a slight breakthrough with this the other day as I bought water pistols. at first i put them in their waterproofs as it wasnt a summers day outside. he got a splash on his suit and had to take it off. by the end of the day he was running about with wet socks and splashes on his jumpr and he wasn't needing to strip off.

at the moment my partner works 12 hours shifts and is doing up a house for us. we should be moving within the month and hopefully this will help. even though hes away that much i do still have sit down meals with them and keep to as normal routine as possible

we've tried a little tap on the hand when younger and started the interfeering but that didn't work. i've also tried smaking and just got laughed at and it didn't seem to bother him.

at least i've been able to go to the hosptial and say we've done everything thats possible with him. i'd like them to go down maybe allergies to foods route.

[numnum]

if he wants any cuddles its on his terms and when he escapes out his room he then starts to want cuddles and play with his toys. which is another issue is he has no interest in playing with toys. recently he has played with a few which is good progress but still no where near what i see other children like with their toys

[boxtops]

I can't offer a solution, other than keeping on with the behavioural unit. I know he's only 2 - can he explain why he wants to run away or where he thinks he's going?

[cazzz1975]

what is his level of understanding like? has he had his 2 year check up?

[EDDIE51]

The more I read and think about this the more I am drawn to the same thought as pastafreak , Autism needs to be considered as a possibility. The refusal of close contact , hyperactvity and high intellegence all suggest it.