What's so different now?

[milly143]

I've noticed there are so many programmes on at the moment telling people how to dicipline their children and how to raise them. I'm not a parent so maybe I just don't get it but why is it that people seem to need all this advice to dicipline their own children these days. For example, my parents raised 7 children in to mature, stable adults and they didnt need a naughty step, neither did the millions of other parents of previous generations. so, why don't people seem to be able to do it without outside help these days?

[ELVIS 68]

My dad never got down to my level and spoke in a stern voice to reprimand me, I got a smack across the a*se, somehow that did the trick.

[sunflower68]

Milly most of these programmes are showing the minority of parents who are struggling to cope with their kids' behaviour and appropriate discipline.  You may sometimes spot these parents in Tesco - they are usually the 'shouty' ones talking down to their children.  The majority of us do very well thankyou at bringing up our children appropriately.

Why on earth are the 'millions of other parents of previous generations' more able to raise kids than those today?  It is just telly milly; don't confuse it with real life.  Also, these programmes are popular with many parents as they can see how it could have gone wrong if they hadn't done the right thing with their kids.  We deserve a bit of self-justifying telly to go with the glass of wine when the kids are safely tucked up.

[ELVIS 68]

That`s what I really meant, thanks sunflower68

[andy hughes]

With the demise of the extended family, lots of young parents find themselves with children to raise, and no role models to help them. Parenting is a skill, you have to learn it, it is not automatically inspired by the birth of your children.

I have said before in this site, children are all as naughty as they are allowed to be. The respond to discipline, order, and boundaries, which make them feel secure.

Even negative attention is better than no attention at all - notice the contstantly screaming kids are the ones who are ignored until the violence starts?

Education of parenting skills for high school pupils would eradicate a lot of social ills of society within a few generations, but the Govt. prefer to fanny about with 'league tables'

[curiosity]

You're bang on Andy Hughes!

[Gef]

Nice one Andy. Jump on the band wagon and blame the schools again. Unfortunately, because of the namby-pamby society we live in schools are not even allowed to discipline children. The parents are to blame - make them suffer not the teachers.

[andy hughes]

I assue you Gef

[andy hughes]

Oops, wrong button!

As I was saying Gef I lay the blame firmly ath the doors of successive governments - as my last sentence indicated. My wife is a former teacher / Deputy / Head teacher - I know it's not the teachers' fault!

[Lore]

A very good point Andy, sadly schools are all about paper work these days -  We do have policies for behaviour management and are always looking for ways to improve behaviour in an appropriate manner but whilst the schools have expectations of positive behaviour, it's not always the case that parents have the same or similar expectations. Without consistency we lose the battle! 

[boobesque]

Having seen a girl tell her little boy of about 3 to 'get up of the floor you stupid f*****' and the little boy replying in a quiet little voice 'im not stupid mummy', I sometimes despair at the sort of people who have children sometimes, you need a license to fish, you need a license to have a dog, yet anyone can have kids, then not bring them up properly, which makes for usually volatile adults, no-one seems to want to take responsibilty for these kids anymore.

My little boy goes to a special school, where many of the parents dont give a s*** about their kids, one in particular was sick on the school bus on the way to school and the parents refused to take him back, they said he was well enough to go to school. Luckily the school is excellent and kept him in the nurses room, where he slept all day!

I think more needs to be done to ensure that kids arent neglected and parents are taught discipline, as Andy says to kids all attention is attention whether it is good or bad, if they are not getting enough good, then who can blame them for being bad? 

[baileyj]

In answer to your question, unfortunately children have so many 'rights' these days while the teachers and parents have had their's taken away, discipline is very difficult to do. The teachers do not have the authority any more and cannot back up the parents with a good dicipline regime, and vise versa. The media targets children to look and act in a certain way which doesn't help struggleing parents to cope with pressures. Then you've got all these syndromes that the kids all know about and insist they have, it's a nightmare. If you were thinking of having children, please save yourself the misery and change your mind. It's not worth the years of agrivation and heartache!!!!