Jokes As Old As The Hills

[whiskeryron]

Did you hear about the Barmaid who pulled the wrong knob & got stout ?

My ex girlfriend's address
Miss Mary Likes
The Old Cock Inn
Tillett
Herts.

There was an old man of Devizes
Who was brought up before the Assizes
For teaching young boys
Matrimonial joys
And giving out condoms
As prizes.

There was a young man of Devizes
Whose b*lls were of two different sizes
One was so small it weighed nothing at all
But the other one won several prizes

There once was a young girl from Gloucester
Whose parents thought they had lost her
All they found in the grass
Were the marks of her a*se
And the knees of the bloke who had crossed her.

She stood on the bridge at midnight
Her heart was all a'quiver
She gave a cough
Her leg fell off & floated down the river.

WR.

[Prudie]

In days of old
When knights were bold
And women weren't invented
They drilled some holes
In telegraph poles
And had to be contented

[chrissa1]

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man with a punt stuck his pole in her ear
And said , you can't swim here, it's private.

[frugalfred]

A policeman from Clapham Junction
Had an organ that wouldn't function
For most if his life
He deceived his wife
By letting her play with his truncheon!

[frugalfred]

There was a young girl from Madras
Who swallowed a whistle of brass
She played "Carolina" upon her violin
And "God save the Queen" on her trumpet

[marval]

There was a young woman named Pat,
Who offered to do this or that,
When speaking of this,
She meant more than a kiss,
So imagine her meaning of that

[cupid04]

There was a young girl called sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire
She said it's a sin
But now that it's in
Could you shove it a few inches higher?

[tonyav]

LOL^^^^^

[josaphine32]

There was an old lady from ealing,
Who had a terrible feeling,
She laid on her back,
Opened her *****
And pi $$ed all over the ceilling

[marval]

There once was a technician named Lil.
That took a chance on a Nuclear Pill.
They found her vagina,
In South Carolina,
And her boobs in a tree in Brazil!

[frugalfred]

The randy old Bishop of Birminghm
Used to rape teenage girls when confirming 'em.
To shouts of applause
He'd remove their drawers
And shove his episcopal worm in 'em!

[marval]

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who walked around belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used superglue paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

[maggiebee]

Wow- getting very daring aren't we??

[tonyav]

LOL, some have been removed, maggie.

[Graham-W]

There was a young man from Nepal,
Who had a mathematical ball,
The square root of its weight
Divide by eight,
was precisely two thirds of fek all.