Late Night...
Two married friends are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I still don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home late after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His mate looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the stairs, throw my shoes into the wardrobe jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's @rse and say, 'How about a bl0wj0b?' ....And she's always sound asleep."