A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria."
The nun said, "I can understand completely."
The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Syria either."
Here's an oldie:
Nun, running down street: "Help! Help! I've been graped!"
Passer-by: "Surely you mean "raped"?"
Nun: No, no! There was a bunch of 'em!"