teenager who loves to shock

[downhearted]

I am out of my mind with my teenage daughter (14). She is generally good but very head strong and you can tell she loves to shock.

she is out of the country on a school holiday at the moment. she rang me a 4.30 this morning to say that she has bought 2 penknives and 2 lighters because she could. Obviously I have sobbed since and have not shut my eyes hence on the computer at this time.

She also told me that she has mated up with the year group higher than her so I think she is trying to impress. I am destroyed.

They have email access so I have emailed and begged not to try bringing them back. I am beside myself I can't believe she has been so stupid.

The time she rang was ok cos i did say because of the time diff in the country where she is if she wanted to ring and we were in bed it was ok.

I asked her what she was thinking about and she said she did because she could and these girls are sound.

We are a close family and she said I told you cos you like me to tell you things and I do. Which is fair comment but Im demented with worry.

[red_flag]

Im only 18 now, but when I was younger I was much the same and I did things like shop-lifting to shock and seem cool and to fit in with older people. For me, it was a phase and I think it will be the same for your daughter. The worst thing anyone could do to me at that point was react. If I was grounded, I'd sneak out. If I got shouted at, I was more inclined to do it again because I was rebelling against any sort of authority. I grew out of it very quickly and soon saw the error of my ways when I realised who the poeple I was out to impress actually were, although nobody could have told me this at the time. As long as she isn't doing anything illegal or that is really harmful to herself or others, the best thing to do is let her make her own mistakes and learn from them. (easier said than done I know, but I think it's true)