Daughter in law addressing cards from her and my son to me as "First Name"/mum

Anngel123 | 18:38 Sun 03rd Jun 2012 | ChatterBank

44 Answers

Hello all
this question goes out to any ABers under 30. My son's girlfriend of 8 years has never sent me a card of any sort to me herself. However, when she sends cards jointly from my son and her she always addresses them to Mum/"my first name". She didn't sign my birthday "Mum" card this year. Our Christmas card (to me and my husband) was addressed Mum and Dad , "My First Name"and My husband's first name". Is this normal? I find it quite hurtful. I know I am not her actual mother. However, yesterday, she and my son got married. I really love this girl. She is perfect for my son and we get on well. They sent a thank you card addressed to Mum and Dad, "my first name" "husband's first name". I think she is being really ridiculous. I don't want any more cards signed like this really. It just makes me disappointed. As a bit of background, her mother divorced from her father when she was 18 months. She doesn't refer to her stepdad as dad....and gets quite irate when my husband refers to her parents, meaning her mum and stepdad. Where I come from parenting is not just about who is your genetic parent... Sorry this is such a rant. I would thank you for your comments.

Sigh!

Jubilee barge trip

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Maidup

Best Answer

I think this situation is different for mothers of boys as mothers of grils have the cards written by their daughters where as mothers of boys have all cards written by their DILs.

Its not natural for DILs to call their MIL Mum these days, but they ought to get their husbands to write the birthday card for their mother's birthday. That way it would say Mum in a...

19:14 Sun 03rd Jun 2012

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Anngel123

Question Author

Gness..it is called "chatter"bank for a reason...some of the threads will be serious. But some are not. Get over it!

Anngel123

Question Author

Thank you maidup. That sounds a perfect solution. I will suggest it gently to my son...Quite happy to be Mum Ann....if she is happy to call me it! My sister's second husband is called Daddy Barry in a jokey way by her sons. Thanks for all your comments, negative ones were helpful too!

boxtops

anngel, I agree with gness. This isn't life-threatening, but it could damage your relationship if you are festering resentment about something so insignificant as what she calls you in writing. At least you get a card. Be grateful that you have a lovely caring DIL who loves your son.

cupotee2

Another not under 30 but I still sign my son and wife's cards first name then Mum and Dad. Daughter in law calls us by our first names that is ok by us.

Were not her parents even tho were good friends, so why should she call us Mum and Dad.

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