Oh Heck!

[gness]

Before I went away I couldn't properly lock the shed door so I booby trapped it.....good and proper....never do things by half....
I made a tall pyramid of sharp garden tools....including the almighty loppers...with an arrangement of knives and metal tubing on top which I painstakingly and slowly propped against the door as I closed it.

I had also hung a huge metal wind chime on the inside of the door with other bits and bobs on top so on opening the door the burglar would have the lot descend on him...or her...with a great clattering onto the path of anything weighty and sharp that missed the thief on the way down.

Arriving home earlier today I was amazed at how short my grass is.....hardly grown in three weeks.....puzzled me for ages until I decided to un booby trap my shed....

No trap!!! The shed is tidy and spotless and.....the lawn mower has been used.... so now I have to find out which of my lovely neighbours I have injured while they were doing me a good turn by mowing the lawn......oh bums..... they'll think I'm bonkers.....:-(

I'd better buy wine and flowers before I go door knocking...x

[mazie]

"they'll think I'm bonkers."..And you think they don't already know ;o) xx

[gness]

Thanks, Peter....but my home.....my means of protecting it.....and once I have warned the neighbours some mines might be...interesting....x

Hi, Slappy....tell me about it. I'm always happy to land at the airport with no disasters.....today there was a fire and evacuation at Luton just as we landed......had to sit on the plane for a while.....then the Irish had to go on a special coach......oh well...xx

You reckon, Mazie?......I think you could be right.....☺

[Psybbo]

OH says I have to visit you to avoid calamities here xx

[tonyav]

Why is that Psybbo, are you a leprechaun to lol.

[gness]

Psyb...you're welcome anytime....and a day out at the races?...x

Behave, Tony...the shed is tidy now...☺

My neighbours are great.....it was Ge and R over the road...they reckoned the weather would make the grass grow like blazes....and I'm so short I'd get lost....so they cut it.

I sort of mentioned the shed.....
Well! Indeed!....said Ge....now that was a surprise.....I opened the door and all hell let loose.....couldn't think what was happening....the noise was tremendous....I tried to catch them....first a spade...then a hoe....then a great big lopper....then I ran!
We thought....Well, Gness is so tidy....what's happened here? Somebody must have been messing about.......So we cut the grass and tidied the shed.....hope you don't mind?

Mind!!!! They are great....and when I explained about the booby trap they laughed and gave me a hug......☺

[tonyav]

Did you give them a bottle of wine for their troubles, gness ?.

[gness]

And flowers and some Irish gifts I had brought back....they really are the most wonderful neighbours....x

[Slapshot]

G you and Minty need to get together flower..... keep all the chaos in one area.. ;0)

[tonyav]

Very nice of them to cut the lawn for you, gness. Especially after the little incident with the shed.

[gness]

Minty and I should visit you sometime, Slappy.....how about it!!!!...☺

It was, Tony...and to think to tidy the shed too....never guessing it was me all along....☻

[askyourgran]

Welcome back gness. What lovely neighbours you have, I was half expecting it to be the man who has had several heart attacks, and snuffed it when the stuff fell on him, glad it isn't him.

[Slapshot]

It's a great idea G..... but tell the rest of us first, we'll head elsewhere...or order the ambulance..;0)

[gness]

Thanks, Gran.....that worried me ... it was the heart attack man....and he tells me he now has epilepsy too.....but he doesn't blame me...or my shed.....he's a brick!

[gness]

Wuss!!.....I suggest a get together in Dublin......☺

[tonyav]

At the Guinness brewery, gness ?.

[gness]

Where else, Tony....you up for it?....☺

[tonyav]

Certainly am, gness.

[Slapshot]

Now that would be interesting......

[gness]

I like Dublin.....know a good place to stay by the brewery....and some great pubs....♣

[JonnyBoy12]

There is one burglar who when he steals things from people he does some DIY work for them. The people he burgles are delighted as the stuff that has gone is of no importance and the jobs he does for them are very good. He then comes clean and tells them who he is and noone has ever pressed charges against him.

Fair exchange is no robbery eh, folks?

Can anyone help me out with this tale, fellow ABers?