pregnancy

[laurence2]

My sister-in-law has just found out that her sons girlfriend is pregnant.

They already have a 9 month old baby girl, The problem with this pregnancy {approx 4 months} is that they,ve just found out that the baby's head is twice the size of the babys body, The hospital have said in so many words it would be in there best interest to have a termination as the baby looks like it will be seriously handicapped both mentally/physically.

His girlfriend who is only {18} is very confused and so obviously turned to her mother for advice, To our astounishnent she told her daughter to go ahead with the pregnancy, and that the state would fund the upbringing of the baby with a 24 hour carer and that they would be provided with a car and be ok financially.

Her mother for the record is a serial benefit claimer like most of her family, and we feel she is being ill-advised by her mother, she's even saying she not going to the hospital in the morning now for further test, once again her mothers idea.

We feel she is being mis-guided as to what lies ahead,she's a frightened young lady and we are very concerned for her.

Your comments would be appreciated as we feel that all the information/advice we can give her will assist in this difficult decision.

Thankyou.

[Se7en]

Laurie, my brothers girlfriend has had a miscarriage. My brother said that on scans they found that all the pieces were not where they should have been...not sure what was meant by that...but presumably it would have been born physically disabled. So they would have been in a simlilar position to your sister in laws son and girlfriend.

[dancealot13]

Laurence2-
This unborn child is 4 months-4 months, I can't repeat that enough. I must ask you this, what does a funeral have to do with anything? This young couple made some very poor decisions (as all of us do at some point in our lives), but to use their financial state as an excuse to terminate is not right Termination at 4 months should be the last resort and only for the mothers health, not for finacial instability. If the couple has to attend their childs funeral then thats obviously what God intended to happen. I think a serious lesson is to be learned for this couple.

[laurence2]

se7en, sorry to hear the news on your brothers girlfriend, i hope they both get all the support they need, especially family.

[laurence2]

dancealot, thankyou for your post again.

When i mentioned the funeral {if this is the case} i was trying to underline that on top of the almost certain death of the baby, its an expense they can ill afford, plus they are putting themselves and members of there family through grieving.

I appreciate that pro-life people have there yiews, but for the sake of the baby, a termination is the best outcome.

As i,ve pointed out, Edwards symdrome = ''The baby will die'' the latest being a few weeks after birth, i know you can come back and say, But whilst there is life you have a chance, In this case tho the baby won't survive.

Our concerns at the moment are that the girl in question refuses to go to the hospital,as she believes the baby will be fine, this is extremely narrow minded on her behalf, and for the sake of her unborn baby she Has a duty to find out what is wrong,What mother would'nt want to know what problems lie ahead.

[malaise]

Laurence, will you let us know the outcome? She must be so terrified right now; shame on her mother for putting such nonsense ideas in her head.

For comments made previously stating that terminating a pregnancy at 4 months would be more dangerous than having the baby: You are wrong. A termination is medically far safer than delivery. Additionally, a foetus is not that big at 4 months, and would be removed by dilation and evacuation (dilation of the cervix using pessaries, general anaesthesia, and removal of the foetus using forceps and vacuum). Medically it's a SMALL procedure, and women are kept in overnight due to the effects of a general anaesthetic.

I am also quite shocked by the lack of empathy that people have, that they would wish an 18 year old girl having to go through giving birth to a child who will almost certainly die (and even if they don't, will be so profoundly disabled that they'll spend all of their very short life in a hospital cot). Morally, I find that more outrageous than termination of pregnancy.

[Jennykins]

Its just such a aweful, aweful thing for someone to go through.. and I guess what makes me feel so bad for this girl and her mate is that fact that if the baby dies now.. she will have to live with knowing she killed it.. and if the baby lives a short while out of her body .. she will have to watch it die.. .So so sad.. .

Oh and yes please let us know what the out come of this poor young girl is.. My heart is just aking for her..

Thanks laurence...

[laurence2]

malaise & jennykins, Thanks for your post, As it stands at the moment she is still refusing to go to the hospital.

Their is a chink of light, yesterday we gave them a load of info on Edwards symdrome {they asked for it} so hopefully they will re-book their appointment at the hospital.

Whatever the outcome i will post a new thread, Once again, I would like to thank you all for your post, Its very reassuring to see so many people who care.

Thankyou