Jenny, how about fostering a rescue cat for a bit and see how you both get on? If it doesn't work, no harm done - at least you tried. It could work out, but then it could cause arguments if you don't both want a cat.
I've had x6 cats over the years, all outdoor (cat-flap) cats. 2 passed away in their twenties from old age, one was poisoned with anti-freeze a couple of months ago. Now have x1 4yr old and 2 x 6 month old kittens which are due to go out for the first time this weekend as they have been neutered/ vaccinated etc and are ready. We rescued them from a sanctuary after we lost our boy - they originally came from a farm where the farmer used a shot-gun to control the amount of cats he had there - so if you eventually do get a cat, please rescue if you can.
Due to our boy-cat being poisoned, I am terrified of letting the kittens out but they gain so much from being outdoors, so it is a risk we take with all of our cats.