ChatterBank0 min ago
Peter Pan
6 Answers
I am hoisted on a Petard. I recently changed departments at work and my new seat has COMPRESSED GAS HEIGHT ADJUSTMENT. I fear that at any moment it will explode and blow me flying across Kensigton Gardens like Peter Pan. I have lost concentration, sleep and fear coming to work. How many of these things have in fact exploded? Has anyone survived?
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by AnnaBa. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Unless you're a real porker you should be ok according to this health and safety website...
http://www.vector-seating.co.uk/good_practice.htm#
Gas%20Lifts
Hello, oh dear, you are a worrier. The petard is a mere metaphor for how deeply you worry about anything. Were you thrown from a knee you thought was safe when you were a child? A too boisterous game of "This is the way the ladies ride" perhaps?
Repeat three times a day, my chair is safe, my chair is safe, my chair is safe......
I very much sympathise with you, Anna. Precautions must be taken. To minimise disintegration, you must wera non-flammable corsets with high-strength steel bones. Sit with your back always inclined at 60 degrees towards an open window. Attached by a string to your wrist must always be a small umbrella to act as a braking chute should you be in danger of overshooting the Round Pond or Serpentine. Keep a �20 note in your bra to pay for a taxi back. Also keep some loose confetti in your shoes so that your colleagues know in which direction you have gone. To minimise the seat impaling your rear end, place a 1/4" steel plate about 2' square on the seat and on this an asbestos-substitute filled cushion about 4" thick to sit on. You may have a case for constructive dismissal at a Tribunal.