Have I Got Piles?

[nailit]

ok, i'm getting ready for the bottom jokes before we start...but seriously,
For the past year I have been bleeding from behind. The bleeding is very heavy when it happens, not just a bit of blood in my stool but a pan full. However it is not regular. I started bleeding again just before xmas but it hasnt happened again for about 4 weeks. In addition I have a dull ache about 1-2 inches inside my rectum and its painful to sit. I cant get into my doctors until next week but in the meantime was wondering if it sounds like the symptons of piles?
thank you.

[nailit]

//you do it into a cardboard pan then there is a little spatula thing in the pot lid //
thats just put me right of my beef and tomato pot noodle that has...

[Hypognosis]

Sorry if I was a PITA in your other thread today. It will, no doubt, amuse you to learn that (subject to a GP visit) I've joined this select club too!

As for tasteless jokes, would you prefer
a) Johnny Cash: Ring of Fire
b) Bonnie Tyler: Varicose Veins of the ars_.