EAsy -first get yourself up to 18 stone,buy a tracksuit or leggings, get a few teeth pulled and apply half a pack of lard to your hair. Next have sex with your partners brother/dad/ cousin or all three,have a baby and demand payment off all three as you're not sure who the father is. Then accuse your partner of having sex with your sister/best friend/mother or all three and demand he does a lie detector test. Easy....