Wintry Weather Heading Our Way
News1 min ago
We Have Got
We have got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to the sounds of '80s synth pop.
Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.
My neighbour was lopping branches off his conifers the other day using a swordfish.
When I asked him why he was doing that he said "Swordfish? The guy in the shop told me it was a tree sturgeon."
Went to the zoo the other day
Some cuddly black and white bears in stockings were going berserk
It was sheer pandamonium.
I recently carried out an armed robbery at my local post office and got away with a substantial amount of cash. Unfortunately, I left behind a handfull of 2p and 1p pieces, which had traces of my DNA on.
I got caught by the coppers.
For years I've had a charcuterie addiction, hams, chorizos, everything. It became so bad I lost my house and family.
But I've been in a clinic for 6 months and now I'm cured.
My partner bought me an extremely tall lamp from the shops, it was the highlight of my day.
I used to have a business selling sculptures depicting just the head and shoulders.
It went bust.
I keep having visions where I run after the perfect plumbing system
I should stop before I end up chasing a pipe dream.
Ever since my houseboat capsized between Norfolk and Lincolnshire, all my clothes have been in the wash.
I have never believed in horses.
I am a neightheist.
Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark.
My neighbour was lopping branches off his conifers the other day using a swordfish.
When I asked him why he was doing that he said "Swordfish? The guy in the shop told me it was a tree sturgeon."
Went to the zoo the other day
Some cuddly black and white bears in stockings were going berserk
It was sheer pandamonium.
I recently carried out an armed robbery at my local post office and got away with a substantial amount of cash. Unfortunately, I left behind a handfull of 2p and 1p pieces, which had traces of my DNA on.
I got caught by the coppers.
For years I've had a charcuterie addiction, hams, chorizos, everything. It became so bad I lost my house and family.
But I've been in a clinic for 6 months and now I'm cured.
My partner bought me an extremely tall lamp from the shops, it was the highlight of my day.
I used to have a business selling sculptures depicting just the head and shoulders.
It went bust.
I keep having visions where I run after the perfect plumbing system
I should stop before I end up chasing a pipe dream.
Ever since my houseboat capsized between Norfolk and Lincolnshire, all my clothes have been in the wash.
I have never believed in horses.
I am a neightheist.
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