Jokes

[Davemano]

A chap got a job working at a precision engineers. His starting post was going to peoples' houses collecting bubbles from goldfish bowls to put into spirit levels.

[Georgiesmum]

Sounds like the same shop where they sell the twelve inch sky hooks, and the black and white chequered paint!

[excelsior-1]

..... and the bucket of compressed air - - and a long weight

[Captain2]

.... or a left handed screwdriver

[scorpiojo]

...and a long reach and a short stand

[Svejk]

First job I was on, there was a bucket of Swafega. I said, 'Urgh, what's that stuff for?' They said, 'You put your hands in it to clean them'. 'Aye, I bet, you must think I'm stupid or something'. They were right, I was.

[Tilly2]

Life can be very cruel.

[granny grump]

My granny used to push wheel barrows full of light into air raid shelters during the war and my dad used to kick start jumbo jets

[zabado]

I once bought an inflatable dartboard.

[Svejk]

Lol, I'm pinching that one.

[Sipowicz]

I got stung by a bee last week.........£10 for a jar of honey!

[Davemano]

Every ones a gem hope they bring a smile, athough I have or had a friend who people thought smiled occasionally, but most thought it was just 'wind'

[maggiebee]

Tartan paint too.

[excelsior-1]

"inflatable dartboard"

that's brilliant - i'd like to use that elsewhere too

[LochNessMonster]

Bought Mts Nessie a water bed for our sex life, now were just drifting apart ?