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BANANASPLITS

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Patsy33
Just wrapped up some batteries for Xmas. Toys not included..
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Farrwest
I have a breville toaster which I understood to be the top of the line. However I find that it takes so long to toast that the bread is virtually baked. I've always found the best toast I ever tasted...
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soliloquy
Does anybody find this programme entertaining?
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Tyrion44
Looking at the race cards in the Daily Mail for the 2.40 at Newcastle yesterday I saw that many of the horses had their form figures ending with a #. Can anyone explain what this means please. Many...
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marval
My partner and I were arguing over who got to eat the last gherkin, what a pickle. I was on the net earlier. I now have a life ban from my local Tennis Club. I went to the opticians today. It was a...
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Patsy33
My girlfriend left me because she says I only ever think about football. I'm gutted, we'd been together for nearly three seasons....
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kvalidir
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days. A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausages?" The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?" The guy, clearly offended,...
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BANANASPLITS
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy!...
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Patsy33
Why did Bach have so many children? He did not have a stop on his organ...
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sunny-dave
I'm sure all the parents/grandparents on here are busy elfing ... ... but for those ladies who have a spare moment ... https://i.postimg.cc/G2RCkGth/hardy.jpg Anyone got any other suggestions?...
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bhg481
kvalidir's excellent Irish sausages joke reminds me of the failed Irish bank robber. He had a very broad accent and every time he went into a bank and shouted "Stick 'em up" the teller would double up...
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BANANASPLITS
I've just accidentally dropped all my viagra tablets on the floor after taking one. I'm on all fives on the floor at the moment trying to pick them up!...
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canlock
A newly tailless blind rodent is upset , of course 4 Sort this game out, using scales or balance 8...
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BANANASPLITS
The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am. “What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer. “I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of...
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BANANASPLITS
I think that the wife is doing a salad for lunch...either that or the smoke detector needs a new battery ;-)
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Patsy33
Spoof! https://youtu.be/8F9jXYOH2c0...
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Caran
Had an email saying I had bought something on an app. It was $30.99 and it as some chocolate type money. There was a link to say click on this if you didn't buy I think so I did. Asked for my details,...
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murraymints
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqQQaZrI7y8&app=desktop Happy happy birthday dearest friend xx...
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-Talbot-
LABOUR MP David Lammy has been named politician of the year at this year’s GQ awards....

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