carsonking Member Profile in The AnswerBank

Milkman gag

A milkman was doing his round one Friday, which was the day that he knocked on doors to collect money. He knocked at the door of one house which was opened by a woman in a scanty negligee. "That'll be...

Seafarer1966

Domestics

A man was arrested three times this week for knocking his wife out. The police asked him why he keeps beating her. He replied "fancy footwork, better reach and a significant weight advantage."

lindylou16

Ho Ho Ho

I see corduroy pillows are making headlines.

carsonking

Finding a tune

A hip hop tune from the 80's has been ringing round my head for two days now and i can't remember the name of the tune or the performer, all i remember is one line, lol,, the line is 'brentwood girls...

mandimoo

playlist for a wedding reception

we are doing our own cd's for our wedding reception and would like some suggestions for the playlist. were not into pop music and would like some wedding (ish) themed songs. we like loads of other...

PeeBee1

Some years ago

Paddy married an attractive woman, Maggie, half his age, in a small coastal Irish community. After several months, Maggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her...

niceboy

Odds and sods

When I was a child every house had a drawer in the sideboard that was full of "odds and sods" and "bits and bobs". It was the most interesting place in the house (to a kid). Do you remember that magic...

sidewinder86

maths question

4)An apartment building contains 12 units consisting of one- and two- bedroom apartments that rent for ?360 and ?450 per month respectively. When all units are rented, the total monthly rental is...

ll_billym

What...

sits at the end of our bed and takes the pi$$ out of you?

lesblue

Cristiano Ronaldo

It was inevitable that he was going to follow Kaka to Madrid. A Brazilian is often followed by an irritating c**t.

Drisgirl

Apologies for Scottish 'speak'

But you'll get the drift: GORDON BROWN was visiting a Scottish primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The...

darren197373

So Michael Jackson has skin cancer.......

(All together now) "....dont blame it on the sunshine...."

MsEVP

complain about TV advert

Who is the body to contact regarding complaining about a TV advert?

McMouse

Mobile Phones

The assistant at the Carphone Warehouse came out of the stockroom, showed me a handset and said "Here you are sir, on this model you can set the interface to display in Italian, it includes an...

McMouse

Thursday quickie

An Arab has been found dead at the bottom of Michael Barrymore's swimming pool. Apparently it was a suicide bummer.

Suetheramble

MP's

This is true but t amused me. A Co-op shop have put a sign in their window - No more than 2 MP's allowed at any one time.

ELVIS68

Lonely Hearts Ads...What they really mean.......

Adventurous = S!ut Athletic = No Tits Thirty Something = 41 Fun = Annoying Wild = Get`s P!ssed Lovely Eyes = Face like a scrapyard Alsation Seeks Knight in Shining Armour = Ex hubby`s a fooking nutter...

MalcolmY

Two fleas in the south of France...

...one of them says to the other, "How are you then?" "I'm fookin perished," says the other (He was from Yorkshire) "How come?" says the first flea, "This is the south of France.". "I've just come all...

Slapshot

Blonde Joke

A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket. She...

juliehodson

Bristol History

Hi, Does anyone know what this picture refers to.... http://tinyurl.com/q7kpp9 Somewhere in Bristol UK. Thanks, Paul. [email protected]

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