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coffeeboy

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coffeeboy
Marks and Spencer's have taken over Poundstrechers, they are going to open new shops and calling them Strechmarks.
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coffeeboy
Bought my wife's birthday present at the weekend, and hid it the oven she'll never find it there.
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coffeeboy
Bought my wife a pug dog , despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes, rolls of fat and being ugly, the dog seems to like her.
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coffeeboy
Despite getting A-Level results of A,B,B,A it seems no employer will take a chance on me.
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coffeeboy
Mality, Mality,Mality,Mality. Now the formalities are over I'm going....
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coffeeboy
If women are so good at multi tasking why can't they have sex and a headache at the same time.
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coffeeboy
A woman came up to me and rubbed my bald head and said "do bald men make good lovers? "I said I don't now I've never had one"...
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coffeeboy
Took my wife out for dinner last night and I started playing footsie under the table, she said that's the first time she's had toad in the hole at the Ritz.
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coffeeboy
I hope Poland get knocked out of the Euros soon my cars filthy.
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coffeeboy
Scotsman goes into a pub,normally there is an Englishman, Irishman, and a Welshman in there but there in France cheering their team on.
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coffeeboy
I always keep a photo of my wife and kids in my wallet, it reminds me why there's no money in there....
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coffeeboy
When I swopped our bed for a Trampoline my wife hit the roof....
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coffeeboy
I bought a second-hand car the other day it was in mint condition. It was a Polo
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coffeeboy
If a man jumps into a cess pit is he committing sewerside
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coffeeboy
A man just threw a pint of milk at me. How dairy....
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coffeeboy
The man who invented predictive text died yesterday. His Funfair is next Monkey....
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coffeeboy
364 days to Christmas and people have got decorations up Unbelievable....
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coffeeboy
My wife said she was leaving me because I think I'm a supermarket cashier, I said do you want a hand packing.
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coffeeboy
What is the tune on the new advert that Brian dances to

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