Have you seen the Rose Design tattoo on Cheryl Cole's bum. What was she thinking, silly girl. How can you think this is good looking. I don't think she understood what having rosy cheeks meant....
I saw a drunk man walking home from the beach today wearing only one flip flop on his feet. I asked him: "Did you lose a flip flop?".
"No - found a flip flop" he replied....
Dave arrives home early from work and found his best mate Tony in bed with his wife. In a fit of rage, he dragged Tony down to his garden shed, put his knob in the vice and removed the handle after...
Old Kenny was killed at work last week. He worked as a Fork Lift Truck driver at the local Chocolate Factory for the past 17 years and was a much loved and well-respected employee. Carrying out his...
I was sitting at home tonight watching the TV when the door bell went. Kids these days, they’ll nick anything. What's the first sign of madness? Suggs walking up your garden path. Morris dancing!...
I've just written a book called "101 Ways To Revive The High Street".
It's available on Kindle from Monday.
Favourite text joke this week - so far. . ....
There’s a very important day approaching very soon so don’t forget. I love Pancake Tuesday. I got the girlfriend a new bag and a new belt. The hoover works a treat now. I booked a table for us...
This bloke gets a bone marrow transplant from a donor in Argentina and the operation was a great success.
So he wrote him a thank you letter which began – “Dear Diego, Marrow Donor...”...
Apparently a jigsaw isn't a suitable present for a 4 year old at Christmas.
The little one nearly lost 2 fingers playing with it.
Always keep the receipt folks....