WARNING! – Some jokes may offend, so don’t read the ones that offend you or you’ll be awfully offended by offensive jokes. Feel free to groan. I used to live next door to a family of...
Can anyone recommend a good book for teaching and learning the game of Chess to children aged between 9 and 12. Must have diagrams and be easy to understand the rules. I'll check back here on Tuesday...
A stranger to Glasgow met his pal at Central Station. It was obvious that someone had recently punched his face. His pal asked, "What on earth happened to you then?" The chap replied,...
The Mistress of the Mansion summons Alfred the Butler to her quarters. “Alfred, take off my dress” she asks. “But madam” replies Alfred, rather stunned. “Take off my...
A Jelly Baby goes to the doctors. "Doctor, I think I've got a STD". "What makes you think that" the doctor asks. "I've been having sex with all sorts" replies the jelly...
I went swimming at my local baths yesterday and decided to take a sneaky pee in the deep end.
The lifeguard must have seen me though, he blew his whistle so loudly I nearly fell in....
Sooty and Soo get married. The marriage only lasted one week. Soo is divorcing Sooty on the grounds that he's giving her the silent treatment. Sooty gave no comment when asked earlier today about his...
I'm thinking of downsizing my car later this year due to the rising costs of running the car i.e. petrol, road tax & insurance etc. I currently have a Ford Focus 1.6. From my short list, they are...
Story in todays papers say it will cost fans £160 to see Madonna in concert this summer as she plays her first concert in Scotland at Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh. That does NOT include...
A Sunday School teacher was teaching her class about the story of Jesus Christ. After telling them a short story about his birth and the events leading to his crucifixion, she then asks the class,...
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when the teacher picked him to answer a question. “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how...
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the story of Jesus Christ. After telling them a short story about his birth and the events leading to his crucifixion, she then asks the class,...
Two Italian men get on a bus. The old biddy behind them eavesdrops on their fast, energetic conversation. She sits bolt upright when she hears one of them say: “Emma comes first. Then I come....
This bloke was telling his mate about his night-out. Bloke: So after two pints the wife decided she wanted to go home. So we got into the car knowing I shouldn’t be driving but we just wanted to...
Is there something wrong with Channel 5. The picture seems to be squashed up meaning the aspect ratio is wrong. It's only on Channel 5 on my telly which I get from Virgin Media Cable. All my other...
Does anyone know who sings the song on the latest advert for Sterling Furniture (Scotland)? Link to web site: http://www.sterlingfu...ry/summersale2010-tv1 Lyrics include the lines: You are the one...
For all Corrie fans - here's the YouTube link for a preview of the new opening titles to Coronation Street. They start using them on Monday 31 May when Corrie goes High Definition....