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Leachy10

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Leachy10
An elderly couple in their seventies walk into a An elderly couple in their seventies walk into a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us...
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Leachy10
A woman's husband comes home drunk every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's...
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Leachy10
Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day...... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he...
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Leachy10
Financial Avice in these dark times. If you had purchased ?1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth ?4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your ?1000 would have been worth ?16.50,...
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Leachy10
With all this talk of genetically modified food I always read the label before buying lamb wings.
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Leachy10
According to the papers 1.72m people were out of work last month. Terrible isn't it? I'd have thought discrimination on grounds of your height was illegal.
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Leachy10
According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the oldest recorded mother is a 66 year old Romanian woman. My mother is 74. Top that!
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Leachy10
There's an old saying: An apple a day keeps the doctors away. But nowadays most doctors seem to be Muslim so I find that bacon is far more effective.
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Leachy10
I was in the shopping centre this morning, when a man approached me collecting for Alzhiemers I said " I've already given - don't you remember?"
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Leachy10
A student comes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair,...
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Leachy10
I went to the butchers today. I said "how much are your pies?" He said 2 for "?1.50". I said "how much for one?" He said "?1." I said "i'll have the other one!!"
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Leachy10
Playboy have brought out a new magazine just for married men. It has the same pictures in it month after month after month.......
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Leachy10
I had a stroke of luck on the stock exchange yesterday. I managed to swap three oxo cubes for a jar of bovril.
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Leachy10
I was round Liverpool with my mate the other day when some scousers started squaring up to us. "Pretend we're the police," my mate whispered to me. They kicked the **** out of me before I even got to...
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Leachy10
The anniversary tomorrow of course is of the hunt for Osama Bin Laden. Seven years we've been searching for him, and still no sign of him. Then again, after seven years you can have a missing person...
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Leachy10
Scientists at CERN today switched on the Large Hadron Collider, and claim there is no chance the world will end from the black holes they create. I don't trust them. CERN stands for European Nuclear...
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Leachy10
Amir Kham proved muslims dont drink, he didnt get a round in on Saturday
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Leachy10
Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished...
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Leachy10
It is 3 months since the end of the tax year (5th April) I have not recieved a P60. Is there a time limit as to when it should be issued?
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Leachy10
One morning a man comes into church on crutches. He stops in front of the holy water and splashes some of it on both of his legs, then throws away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the episode and...

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