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maggiebee

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sir.prize

I Can't Remember

Just a line to say I'm living That I'm not among the dead Though I'm getting more forgetful And mixed up in my head I've got used my arthritis To dentures I'm resigned I can manage my bifocals But, Oh...
01:08 Tue 22nd Nov 20114 answers, last by marval 19:05 Tue 22nd Nov 2011
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starone

A Beautiful Night Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my shape to keep, Please no wrinkles, please no bags, Please lift my ar*se before it sags, Please no age spots, please no grey, As for my belly please take...
23:35 Mon 21st Nov 20114 answers, last by mrs.chappie 01:05 Tue 22nd Nov 2011
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starone

Childbirth at 65

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit. 'May I see the...
23:37 Mon 21st Nov 20111 answer, last by maggiebee 01:03 Tue 22nd Nov 2011
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sidkid

I'm a celebrity get me out etc.

They've set a tough task for tomorrow night's "I'm a Celebrity" trial; a kangaroo has to eat one of Fatima Whitbread's testicles.
00:10 Tue 22nd Nov 20113 answers, last by notasyoungasiwas 16:28 Tue 22nd Nov 2011
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maggiebee

Are the Scots Thrifty

A Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A...
23:15 Mon 21st Nov 201138 answers, last by tara20 00:45 Tue 22nd Nov 2011
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Jemisa

Jemisa is back.

----- Well folks I'm back but Just. I went to see my surgeon for my 6 week check-up on the 16th Nov. He found I had an irregular heartbeat and said he was addmitting me so there and then I was back in...
00:08 Tue 22nd Nov 201123 answers, last by cupid04 13:25 Tue 22nd Nov 2011
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Groupie

Who sang this song??

The toughest family on my street is the Word family. But of all the Words, their eldest son, Sorry, seems to be the hardest word....
20:43 Mon 21st Nov 20119 answers, last by Grandpappy 17:50 Thu 01st Dec 2011
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murraymints

text speak

anyone know what ttyl means in text speak?
21:13 Mon 21st Nov 201110 answers, last by maggiebee 22:54 Mon 21st Nov 2011
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wolf63

To God ........... from dog

This email does not prove that God exists, it proves only that this particular dog (who can read and write) thinks that the dog god exists. Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things...
21:18 Thu 17th Nov 201122 answers, last by maggiebee 14:35 Mon 21st Nov 2011
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starone

New Wine for Seniors

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted night sleep. I kid you not... New Wine for Seniors California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot...
00:26 Mon 21st Nov 20116 answers, last by notasyoungasiwas 17:09 Mon 21st Nov 2011
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starone

London versus Scotland

A London lawyer runs a STOP sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. The lawyer thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better...
08:57 Mon 21st Nov 20114 answers, last by marval 17:08 Mon 21st Nov 2011
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bazzard

christmas poem

Am looking for a Nativity poem for children, which includes the stable animals, angels, shepherds and kings. Any suggestions please? I have looked at the lyrics of well-known carols.
13:41 Sun 20th Nov 201124 answers, last by sophie_1003 17:54 Tue 22nd Nov 2011
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JackDanielsU

Irish Builders

Paddy is doing some roofing for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says, "I tink I will ave to go home, I've gone all giddy and...
23:47 Sat 19th Nov 20113 answers, last by maggiebee 14:48 Sun 20th Nov 2011
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zabado

007

I've just bought some of that new 007 Viagra. . . . . . It makes you roger more ! ....
10:40 Sun 20th Nov 20114 answers, last by missprim 18:03 Sun 20th Nov 2011
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starone

Dating in 1960

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang the bell. 'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in....
10:55 Sun 20th Nov 20114 answers, last by marval 15:20 Sun 20th Nov 2011
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mccfluffy

heeelp

What do you call someone who has a persecution complex?? Its doing my swede in fatty and i can't get it...
11:23 Sun 20th Nov 201119 answers, last by maggiebee 13:13 Sun 20th Nov 2011
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bednobs

your oldest appliance

hi, i was just reading the thread about towie's electric carving knife going strong since the 70's and i was thinking what i have, and if it could beat that. Just remembered i have an electric whisk...
19:48 Sat 19th Nov 201131 answers, last by notasyoungasiwas 14:07 Sun 20th Nov 2011
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rainbowsage

Scottish places

1. BOGLICYDMURE 2. KATGOIRMKAGECNE 3. IWNDELHANI 4. WTABFELAROCTOK thanks for any answers...
13:00 Sun 20th Nov 20117 answers, last by rainbowsage 13:17 Sun 20th Nov 2011
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maggiebee

Tesco

This is a very personal statement. While those of you who know me could never, by any stretch of the imagination, call me a homophobic, I will never again shop in Tesco. Tesco funds Gay Pride but...
10:49 Sat 19th Nov 2011119 answers, last by tonywiltshire 17:37 Thu 24th Nov 2011
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missprim

Cradle snatching

Apologies if someone has already posted on this but in the 'showbiz' news at the moment is a story about Caroline Flack age 32yrs dating Harry Styles age 17yrs. I'm not asking for your comments on...
19:26 Sat 19th Nov 201139 answers, last by Teddy_boy 00:50 Sun 20th Nov 2011

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